I don't know what I want to write about, I have a day "free" to write everything that it's in my mind, but the thing is that I'm really frustrated, everything in the world is changing. Everything around me is changing, I'm changing. The one thing that hasn't changed is the fact that I'm afraid to put my heart out there, It took a lot of time for it to be healed and suddenly everyone wants me to put it out there, I just can't.
Another thing that has not changed is my love for books, I've been reading a lot as a relaxing thing. My music taste has been changing too, now I listen to Bach to relax, my love for Bon Jovi and rock has been coming back.
The way I eat has been changing, now I don't crave any junk food, maybe is temporary... I don't know.
The thing is that I've been feeling weird, the other day I had a panic attack and everything started feeling quite dry and vulnerable. I started drinking coffee again, maybe is because of that, my therapist says that I like to takes steps back and forward. Maybe is because I haven't been sleeping that well but I'm not sad, I'm feeling vulnerable. For the first time, I'll listen what she says and maybe I'l take a day free for real and stop drinking coffee. I'll take deep breaths and two steps back.
I know this is weird but I quite like writing this. It feels like talking to a friend that I haven't seen in a long time. I might do this more often.