For the past two months or so I'd been in a funk, it took me a while to accept it, it took me awhile to recognize what was going on, why I was suddenly feeling overwhelmed by everything, why some days I would wake up feeling like the world was against me and others I would be just fine.
For those two months I stopped being myself, maybe it didn't show as much as other times, maybe I seemed like a normal girl from the outside, I would laugh as loud as other times, but that didn't mean I was happy, most of that was me trying to pretend like everything was alright, even when on the inside I was breaking.
I knew I needed to make changes, I was becoming this person I had always hated, I was smoking again, I was drinking more coffee than ever, I was barely sleeping at night, I was in a bad mood, I would snap at everyone and I hated feeling that way.
That's how the June project was borned, I knew it was time for a change, it was finally time to leave bad habits behind and start looking forward, but I also knew that as much as I would want to make it by myself, for myself, it wasn't going to happen, I wasn't going to succeed, so I decided to share it with people out there, people that may have similar battles to mine.
Through this month I worked harder than ever, I made myself proud in many ways, but I also learned a lot about myself and the things that don't work for me, like I can't be around people all the time, I need to be alone sometimes to feel right and not so overwhelmed by everything.
There were many lessons in those words, many quotes I found inspired me more than I would've ever imagined, I also realised that there were many aspects of my life that lacked attention, that would function out of routine, but that didn't mean it was working right.
It was an eye opening experience, one I'll value forever and ever and now that I'm going into new things, I feel like it taught me a lot about myself, the way I work and the changes I should make in my life to achieve that balance that has become my priority.
We'll see how it goes, but for now, I'll enjoy the good days I'm living and the ones to come. I really hope it helped you too or maybe it can help you once again in the future, who knows.
Mayte.
