I'll never forget the look my mum had when she saw me, she was terrified, even when I didn't said anything, she knew what had happened, that's when they decided that I needed to look up for professional help.

The problem was that I didn't wanted to let anyone in into this crazy show, I didn't needed anyone telling me how big or small my problem was, I said no for the first couple of months, but after arguing a lot, my parents took me to see various people that could help, none of them understood, I didn't understood what they wanted me to say or do.

I went from therapist to therapist for months, but I was uncomfortable with all of them, it wasn't until the end of my first semester when I saw my grades drop and my life disappear, I took a step back to see what my life had become, I was destroying myself and hurting everyone that dared to be near me. 

I asked for a last recommendation to my mum's doctor, she told me about her friend, I went with her, thinking that it couldn't be worst than the ones I already had seen and I was right, she wasn't like any other, she never looked me down, she was honest never treated me like a little kid.

I started working with her twice a week for six months, I was already feeling a change in myself, when she suggested to make a come back, to apologise to all of those friends I had left behind and that I had hurt, none of them deserved what I did.

I only talked with some of them, the closest ones, some of them forgave me and understood, others said no and I completely understood, I knew that it wasn't going to be easy and even when I had four reals friends, I felt like the luckiest girl on earth.

From there my life has been a roller coaster, sometimes I have bad days were I don't answer anything or I just lay in bed, some others are pretty nice and I'm really positive, but I always find the strength to move forward.

I changed my diet and a lot of things that had helped me feel a lot better, I found friends that understand and that love me and accept me, I found people that support me even when I have bad days. It took me two years to understand and accept what I have, it's an everyday battle.

2015 has been a year where I grew as a person, I learned a lot of things, I'm learning to live with this, I'm still learning about this whole experience, I'm not going to lie, it still hurts a lot, I cried while writing the first part, but I wanted to share it because there are some people out there that need to know that they are not alone. It may not have been the cheeriest of the stories but I really hope that if you are out there, going through something like this, you are not alone, you can ask for help, it's okay to do it, my contact page is open for anyone that needs help or to someone to listen them.

Mayte.