Almost two years ago I lost one of my favourite people because of third person problems, something that didn't had to do with me, I just happened to be involved.
He always brings back the best memories of high school, I remember how I met him, I sat at his place, I liked being by the window and at the time I didn't care about everyone else's opinion to what I did, no one really knew me, but after arguing with him over the space he gave it to me, I was impressed, not everyone did that.
I have a head full of memories with him and when I lost him it was like something inside me was breaking, I could hear the crack when I knew we fell apart. One time I tricked him into believing his crush had his school I.D. when in reality I was the one hiding it, he didn't got mad that time either.
I can't help but smile every time I think of him, he became an older brother to me, he took care of me, there was this one time when I was breaking down, I was crying, trying to figure out where I should go, I ran into him, he hold me and asked what was wrong, I didn't answer, I didn't knew how to explain my mess, he hold me and hugged me until I stopped sobbing.
Every conversation I have with him now seems normal, like the old times where we used to talk about school and how we were going to keep going, we talked like we had a clue, one of the best memories I have with him is while we worked together, we were both so scared and anxious but he was there for me even when he didn't knew how to handle himself around.
It took me a while to understand what went wrong between us, I guess we both needed to dunk into our mess and understand what we've been doing wrong, to understand how we got here and what we can do to keep moving.
Before this months I didn't knew if I was going to get my friend back, I thought I didn't care but at the same time every time someone mentioned him I couldn't help but feel this pressure on my chest, I missed him, that was undeniable, I missed that friend that hold me while crying or pushed when I was about to fall down.
Because I can't help but to think of what we've been through and feel nostalgic, we both reached a point where we don't care about what others may say, he will always be like a big brother to me, a caring one that would protect me and I will always push him back up because I know what he's capable of.