Now that I'm back in school, work and life, I'm slowly starting to live more and more, which means that more and more things are happening everyday, things I want to share with someone, things that may not have an outcome, that's why I write them under a different name.
Anyway, I want this back, they are fun to write, sometimes I feel like they are some kind of diary, I can't do them every day but every once in awhile I'll try to put one up.
Back to story, today, well to be honest since I came back to school, I've been feeling weird, happy but weird happy, I don't really know what's happening with me and my mood, but the other day while I  was going to my next class, I started to feel anxious, why? I don't know, but I had to sit down and take deep breaths to calm myself down.
Today was even more of a roller coaster, I told someone I care about my story of relationships, because I wanted him to know why is so hard for me to go on a date, thing he didn't understood and turn everything to be about him, which hurts, I mean, a relationship is a two way street, it's about two people, not one, anyway, after that I started to shake and hyperventilate, I was waiting for my next class to begin, I talked with my best friend but she had to go, that's when I walked through the library doors and decided to pick a new book.
I turned my cellphone off and read for a whole hour, which is new for me, because even when I read a lot, I tend to read up to 20 min every time I have the chance. After that little break I felt like it was not enough, so I grabbed my bag and headed out to the only place I could ever scream and punch things without getting told off or hurting anyone, my old gym.
I don't know if I ever talked about this in here, but I used to be really fit about two years ago, I was looking for ways to avoid a therapist and it actually helped. Anyway, when I got in there, I instantly felt better, when my old trainer saw me, he told that it wasn't an "I'm mad, I should go" option, that I had to be consistent, I get it and even when I gave him a bad look, I know I want to go back.
Taking all of my fury out, left me dead, but as always I had to back into my life before anyone notice that I left for a few hours. Those are the moments when I really think about my life and how different it can be from others and how much pressure I put on myself. I indeed took an hour to rest before sitting down to write this and make my homework.
This is where I would put and emotional phrase or a lesson, but this time I don't have any, sleep tight and keep on dreaming.