It's hard because the long awaited day has come and although I wish I was happier, on the inside I'm terrified on what am I supposed to do now, there are multiple option but are they going to fulfill me the same way my other jobs have? And what if I don't fit in?
Maybe that's why I have been so lazy lately, maybe it's all out of fear, but maybe I truly am tired and this is the way my body and mind are telling me to stop for one second and enjoy the few days I have left of independence. Maybe I'm just getting ready for when I get hit by the perfect storm.
But all fear aside I'm pumped for the next five months, I have a thesis to write, a project to work on and many bounds to work on. I want to use this unplanned months to work on myself and the relationships I had with everyone else, I want to go back to that happy place without compromising my work or studies.
I have a lot of things I want to write about, many habits to work on and a lot of excitement for everything that may come, I want to be as spontaneous as I can, I want to live by the day and not worry if anything changes, I feel like it's time for me to do something for myself.
For now I'm doing everything I can to kick my energy levels back up, I've been feeling really tired and sleepy for days. I have to get back into the working out 5 times a week wagon while I start to pre plan some ideas I have for this next month.
There's a lot to do and a lot to think, I know everything will eventually come around, but for now I'm going to put everything I can to get into the hardworking mind space so I can do everything and more while taking care of my mental and physical health.
Have a great week and remember to keep on dreaming.
Mayte.
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