Everything changed around me, I was not the same person some of you met, I want to come back to the way it was...

I learnt to hide a tear behind a smile, my life was a play, everything was planned. I started by hiding my feelings, I took the part too seriously and now I want everything to go back, I want to do what I love and forget about everyone else said, I saw the reality, I was the main character in a play that I created and it was almost impossible to finish with it. 

I became a perfectionist, everything has to be right, I hurt a lot of people, I needed to be with the right people.

I trusted everyone else opinion, they made my insecurities grow, I lost my voice, I had to do go what everyone else said, they chose my future, I had to go with the plan.

I became what everybody wanted, I was afraid of speaking up, I though that if I changed to what I wanted, everyone was going  to leave me. I though that their criticism was good for me, I needed their opinion on everything, deep inside I was screaming but no one was able to hear me.

The way I dressed, the way I did things, they way I was thinking, everything was according to what they wanted, I wanted to fit in. I never though of the consequences.

My closest friends steeped out, they went away and I don't blame them, I was such a horrible person, I was always with the cool guys, everyone knew about me but not in a good way. I got into a lot of problems, I was the unwanted girl, I never though that changing was going to give me problems. I was left with a small group of people that was the same as me.

From there everything went downhill, I though about running away, I went away for a while, I needed to think about what I've done, I needed a way to get out of this mess...

When I came back everyone started to talk but only one of them was right and it said something like this "She got tired of trying to be perfect for everyone else, now she is trying to do everything her way"

I regret everything, I lost friendships, I went through a horrible time but I'm still here and I'm going to fight.

thanks for reading!