Every so often I like to ask myself what have I done to better myself or at least take care of my health either mentally or physically, and most of the time I find that the answer is nothing.
For the past three or four years I've made my life about others and what they wanted me to do. I became that epitome of a house girl. I would spend so much time doing what others wanted that when it came time for me to do something I wanted to do, I was exhausted or my priorities (like school and work) would take over leaving me with zero time for myself.
For six months now I've been trying to change that. Little by little I've started to make changes that aren't only helping my body but also helping my mental health in a way I cannot describe. I'm aware that dedicating more time for myself isn't going to cure every problem I deal with but it certainly has been helping a lot.
With the new year I've been thinking more and more about this, about how can I make a change in my way of seeing what's important for me instead of what others tell me I should be doing or helping others before myself. It's tough to think about that.
When it comes to helping others I don't really think too much about it, I go out of my way to help them and make it easier for them, meaning not only do I compromise whatever I'm doing to help them, but also I put everything that has to do with my well being on hold for as long as it has to be without caring about the consequences it has for me.
A great example is how I left everything to go see my grandma last July, my mum and I took a 5 hour bus to where she lives to bring her mariachis for her birthday then came back that same day, barely slept and went back to work on Monday. I didn't complain, I still wouldn't do it because it was a great experience, but I compromised so much of my health that day that I wasn't able to work at my fullest that week or the next one.