My life has been a world wind of events. Everything seems to either be out of place or incredibly hard to accomplish. I can feel my mind and my body burning out, yet, every time I try to rest or take time for myself I fail. I can't take work out of my mind and the more I work, the less sense it makes for me to put so much effort into something that isn't making me happy.
My mum planned this family holiday, she had planned it for months, and I knew I was excited but as the date approached, I could feel the stress pilling up and for some reason I couldn't work hard enough to get everything done.
It wasn't until Thursday morning that I realised how crazy it was for me to wish to get everything done, but also how hard it was going to be knowing that I hadn't been able to focus on anything for longer than an hour that week. I had to let go of some tasks that weren't esencial and focus on what was going to make me happy.
Doing this made realise that you can either stress or let go, by choosing to let go I was able to really enjoy those three days in which I slept better than before, ate better than other days and was able to feel good about myself while giving a crap about what other people could say.
So this September I want to take it upon myself to really enjoy time by myself, do what I love, focus on what's really important and let go of those things that have been messing up with my life, like toxic people. It sounds easier than it is, I know that there are going to be a few stumbles along the way, but just as I said last month, I don't expect this to be perfect, I just want to try and see what I'm able to accomplish.
There isn't much planned for this month and I don't think there will be. I'm heading into the first course evaluation, I want to have some free time for myself and I also want to work on my health and organisation. I need peace of mind and some time for myself, this is the only way I'm going to be able to accomplish it.
There aren't any resolutions, just hope for getting better.