Here is the thing, I've learned that for the past months I've set myself for failure. Setting way too many goals or setting goals that combined with the other become almost unachievable and put a burden on myself, one that I either carried on my back or gave up with by the end of the first week.
Now I want to focus on one goal a day and if I'm not able to accomplish it, I work on it until I have it settled, instead of working on 5 things at the same time and failing miserably at all of them. It sounds like I'm still putting a lot of pressure on myself but think about it, working on one thing at the time is less scary and more convenient than trying to balance everything all at once.
Personal Goals:

• Pre-plan my week and day in advance. If I'm able to manage my time wisely, I'll be able to do so much more and feel less stressed throughout the day. 
• Workout at least 3 times a week. Recover my body's strength and work at its pace, push my boundaries and work on my neck's mobility. 
• Eat more whole foods and less processed meals. As tempting as they are, they don't give me any nutrients or satisfaction after eating them and I feel myself feeling sluggish after a few bad meals. A balance between the two is what I'm setting myself for. 

Month after month I complain about life, about how hard it has been lately and how much work I sometimes have, but February was something else, something interesting that made me realise that life does come full circle and sometimes you are going to be on top and sometimes you are going to be on the bottom.
February was about realisations, dreams and hope. It was like after all this months, even years of suffering or plain worry, I can finally give myself a break, like I was finally able to catch a breath, a long calming one.
This is the beginning of the journey, one I didn't even know I had to take, but everything has happened organically and I cannot be more grateful for everything that's been happening. I never thought about asking for help, I never thought about asking someone else to do something I was straining myself to do.
All of this is still in the works, all of this is going to take a while to settle and work properly but the effort we've been putting on this to make it work gives me hope that at some point we are going to be able to make it through alive. I now believe everyone when they say that everything comes around at its own time.
Another thing that's been getting better has been my health, after the long illness, I finally feel better, my voice is coming back to normal and my body doesn't ache anymore. After three weeks of not being able to work out, I can finally start doing something again. Now I have to figure out my meals and it'll all be settled.
But one thing I haven't really talked about is work, I actually started working a half time job as an assistant. It'll be temporary, something to have a little extra for all the travelling I have in mind. I'm still working on everything else, plus I'm actually starting to dedicate enough time to this space to make it better, to finally make it the way I wanted.
This is the beginning of a few life changes I will be making in the next months, hopefully I'll be able to make it through, hopefully I'll get to a place in which I'll be able to balance everything and not feel like the world is closing up on me. We shall see but for now let's keep our hopes up and remember to keep on dreaming.

He messed up, he left her hanging when he needed him the most and now that he sees her again, he wonders what could've gone differently if he hadn't left. Maybe it was the hormones or maybe they needed to be apart, grow apart. But destiny likes to play games and working together, it doesn't matter if he's the best, he's going to have to work hard to get her back.
What I liked: 

• Jane's character was strong, independent and relatable. Her story line was interesting and I think it would make for a great book, telling her side of things and how she dealt with everything on the sidelines. 
• The romanticism and the cliche, as much as I would like to critize the lack of depth in some parts, I love a good romantic story where they both swish each other of off their feet. 

She's faced death so many times that now she knows, someone has helped her, saved her and now it's her turn to find him. Everyone thinks he's death, after the accident everyone expected it, but now no one knows, except she knows, she has a feeling he may be hiding, but from what? What is Wes hiding and why?
What I liked:

• The somehow paranormal aspect they incorporated in the story made for a change in the pace of the story. 

I'm at a weird point in my life, I'm in the second semester of my masters, working a half time job, trying to be the best version of myself and feeling like I'm failing miserably. It feels like every time I try to hit a new goal, I fail over and over again.
But right here, right now I'm going to give recognition to something I haven't talked about in a good couple of years. My lack of motivation and discipline, something I once praised to have but then lost somewhere along the end of my college career and never worked hard enough to get back.
If you know my daily activities you know most of them are doable and some days I even have some free time to take a nap, work on a passion project or just relax, but what's been happening over the past two years is that I tend to burn myself out doing work I've been delaying and I end up half asing everything.
I cannot tell you how many times in the past year I've questioned my work ethic and my ability to prioritise. I'm in a vicious circle, one in which I work my ass off to get everything done and then I spend way too much time resting or doing things that aren't important enough to then regret it because work pilled up again and won't go away.
The problem here is that I've come to a point in which my life has gotten so crazy, busy that unless I learn to prioritise and plan my life out, I won't be able to even do half of what I'm supposed to do and not only am I going to suffer, but my work and GPA are going to suffer too.
It doesn't take a village, but it does takes work to recognise the areas in which I need help and the ones I can control by myself. For example, house management and everything that has to do with my grandma, I can use some help with and now that I've asked for it, I feel better, less worried about  what can happen when I'm not there, on top of everything.
This is one of the reasons of why I haven't been on top of my fitness or healthy eating, whenever I'm able to really plan, or set a schedule to work out, I go with it but seeing that I haven't spent enough time thinking and going through with it, I end up not doing it.
Today I promise you to go back to that super organised lady that posted 5 times a week and was able to do everything she set her eyes on, but this time I also promise to have more fun and spend more time with those I truly care about.
It's time to do it for my own good.

Josselyn Winters has scars, she's been through more than anyone can even imagine on living in a lifetime. Ever since that first accident when she was a kid, something changed in her, her desire to live and everything she loved, banished. Now a teenager she's faced with a new challenge, a new dilemma that can turn her life around, maybe our past is indeed to catch up with us.
What I liked:

• The plot was different, we aren't faced with just young love, there's a lot going on with both of the main character lives and it changes the way they both connect and interact. They don't just fall in love. 
• Josselyn wasn't my favourite character but it reflected a true troubled teenager that hated to be put on the spot and feel helpless. 
• Wes was my favourite character, the way he cared about someone in such an honest way, made me fall in love with the character and the way it developed. 

Let's take that word in all its meaning, I've been working over my capacity and I'm not proud of that, it has shown me how little I actually can have under my control and how important it is to take at least 30 minutes for myself every single day.
I've been sick for two weeks now, my throat has been hurting, my head has been throbbing and my back is killing me, but right now after a week of trying to take it easier on me, I can confidently say that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, I'm starting to feel better and like I'm capable of doing what it's in my plans and not stress about every tiny little thing.
It took me getting sick and having a high fever to realise that my body can't do everything and sometimes, just sometimes you need to delegate and accept help from others. It's fine to accept that you can't do everything and anything without breaking down at some point.
Being so in control of everything affected me, my sleep, my appetite and my mood, I didn't notice it right away, but the more I paid attention to my sleeping patterns and eating habits, the more I realised how much stress I was actually carrying within me. I usually try to sleep 7:30 hours, but I was sleeping 5 to 6 hours. I usually eat a lot in between meals, I love snacks, but somehow my appetite was long gone.
I got into this vicious circle in which everything had to be done perfectly, there was no room for mistakes, I had no time for that, and instead of getting that perfect result, I actually got burned out, my immune system gave up on me and my body told me to either take a break or go to ER, because there was no way I was going to be able to go on like that for longer if I didn't stop.
So I did, it took me two weeks to get it and ask for help, but now I feel better. I'm not perfect, I still have to learn how to fully take care of myself and manage my time to be able to actually do my school work, work, workout and have time for myself. It sounds like a lot but once I actually break it down, unless I have a crazy long paper to write, or a seriously close deadline, it doesn't take me more than 2 hours a day getting my schoolwork done. As for work I have a halftime schedule, plus set dates of meetings.
Working out is a time for myself to release endorphins and focus on something else, I actually see it as a break from everything. The more I think about my daily activities, the calmer I feel, and I know nothing is going to happen if one day I don't do everything on my to do list, I'll be okay and the world is going to keep on spinning, so I can either stress it out or accept it.
I'm calmer, I don't know how long is going to continue for, but at least I'm actually trying. Remember to always have time for yourself and keep on dreaming.

Ever since that day I've been thinking a lot, maybe I'm wrong about my attitude after what happened, maybe I shouldn't have said anything, maybe everyone else is right and things like this should be kept from the world.
The more I think about it, the less it makes sense. I know people aren't trained to talk about mental health and most of them don't know how to react when someone tells them what they've been going through, but sometimes saying that you are right there for them is more than enough and will do more good than giving advice, and more if it's "obvious" advice.
This is one of the reasons of why mental health is still a taboo subject, because the few people that are open to talk about it get judged for it or are giving "life advice" by people that think is all about being happy, feeling better  or eating healthier.
Whenever I try to explain what I deal with, I get mixed reactions, some recommending natural remedies, some telling me to not make such a big deal of everything around me and others being emphatic, giving me their support and making me feel like I'm not crazy, because more people than you think are going through this.
Sometimes it feels like I can't even talk about how having anxiety affects my sleep, my eating behaviours or merely the way I manage myself. It's more than getting nervous over something, it's more than losing a few hours of sleep and it's certainly more than just being afraid of someone getting close to you on public transport.
Yes, sometimes my anxiety lets me do most of my daily activities. Those are the good days, when I wake up and feel like I'm ready for what the world has in store for me. It feels like I can be a normal human being and not worry about controlling the little things. Most of my days are like this.
Then there are bad days, some start from the moment I wake up, some start after my morning coffee and others are triggered by something that happens, it doesn't have to be a big event, sometimes the tinniest things are the ones that send me on a downward spiral. Those are the days I want the world to stop for a little bit just so I can take a nap and maybe feel better after that.
That's why it's so hard for me to explain how it affects my daily life and how I manage it. Every time I feel like I have it figured it out, something changes and my whole system is thrown off. It's a constant battle but one that I'm not afraid to fight anymore because the good days make it all worthy.
If you know someone that is going through something similar, don't give unsolicited advice, ask them if they need anything and remind them that what they are doing is amazing, going through this makes them stronger than anyone can imagine.

Opening up about your struggles is one of the hardest things I've ever had to face. Opening up about it with someone you used to care so much about but you haven't had any contact with in the past 7 years, it's even worse. It's one of those things you never think of doing but once you are there, in the moment, it just comes out.
The beginning of my problem isn't documented, it happened after some comments from people that thought it was okay to comment on the size of a teenager, nothing wrong could've happened, right?
Somehow those words got to me and moved something that I never really thought about, I was 15, I shouldn't have to think of that.
It didn't matter how hard I tried, everyone was still talking, some good some bad. My parents caught up with the problem quite quickly, asking questions, taking precautions but even then, nothing could stop the vicious cycle I got myself into. Food was an enemy and it wasn't meant to enter my body.
Whenever I talk about this it always comes down to why did I do this to myself? Why didn't I just ate something? and how did I "recover"? And I always make it seem like it was a problem that just stopped, suddenly I started eating again, when in reality it took years of therapy and seeing doctors, because my health had been compromised and eating wasn't as easy as it was for everyone else.
I saw how his face changed, from happy to worry and pity, two of the feelings I've avoided for as long as I can remember, the main reason for my silence about this.
A part of me regretted it right there and then, he was feeling sorry for myself, for what I did and kept on doing for years, and my heart broke. I was no longer the girl he idolised years back, because now that he saw me broken he thought he had the right to put me back like I was one of his life projects.
The illusion broke when he told me to eat with him, to accept an invitation to my favourite place. I know he was saying it with the best intention but the way he worded it made it feel like I was a sick kid that he needed to take care of. I felt so vulnerable and broken, like all the work I've been putting on myself was for nothing.
I declined the invitation and went home feeling tired emotionally and physically. I realised I couldn't do that with everyone because telling someone to eat isn't going to cure their eating disorders but showing support will do.

I'm not certain on how it started, I just remember those dark days in which food seemed the enemy, just like everyone else. Every opinion was made to hurt me, to make me feel like my value was deeply connected to the number on my pants, the smaller it was the better I was, the prettier I would be.
Last week I ran into an old friend, he's one of the three men that got away. My memories of him are nothing but sweet, he was someone that saw beyond the looks, he would always comment on other assets, take care of me and even when my mind told me not to trust anyone, my heart always told me he was sincere.
It seems like I rejected him, the one hidden talent I didn't know I had. He "made it" in those years we were apart, he got married and had two beautiful kids. He has an amazing job and financial stability, yet I felt like I was seeing the same boy, something about him felt familiar and suddenly after everything that I'd gone through that week I felt safe.
It was one of those weird moments in which you feel like someone up there, a higher force, is giving a sign, nodding at you, saying that slumps are slumps and you are going to be okay. It lifted a weight of off my shoulders and I found myself laughing for the first time that week.
The closeness was still there and everything about the encounter seemed natural, like it was meant to be. It almost felt like destiny was trying to tell me something.
Once we started to talk and catch up, I realised he didn't know what I went through when we met, very few people did, so once he started complimenting me, saying things that knew would get to me I broke down, because just like a few years back, I was struggling to see what everyone else saw, to feel worthy of the attention everyone was giving me.
But before I could say anything he told me something I can't forget, something I always thought about but never really worked on. He told me that I used to be closed off, I had a wall around me and no one was able to go through it, not even him. He dropped a bucket of iced water on me.
After all this years he was right, I had a wall, I still have a part of that wall and I don't know how to let go of the comfort and security it gives me because deep down I know that when I know down those walls, someone is going to hurt me.

Getting sick is one of the worse feelings in the world, getting strep throat is even worse but I'm getting ahead of myself, my last two weeks were more than bed rest and antibiotics.
I feel like being a control freak is finally getting to me and affecting my health in ways I never even expected it to affect it. I usually can tell when I've been overly stressed because my gut suffers and goes through many changes that won't go away unless I relax and move on. This time it was really different, my immune system gave up on me and I got severely sick overnight.
The thing is that for the past two weeks I was so wrapped up on everyone else's problems, commitments and just daily activities that I was leaving little to no time for myself and if you are rolling your eyes at me right now, hear me out.
When you have a person that struggles to do simple, daily things, your life takes a turn. You no longer have to only make your bed, you have to help her make her bed too, you don't have to cook for one, you have to do it for two. It's investing more and more time in others and at the beginning it can be really challenging, because if you used to have your space clean in 20 min now it takes you 30 or 40 minutes more.
I got to a point in which every day was a struggle and my to do list was so long that there wasn't anything else I was able to do. It weighted on me quite quickly, by week 3 my anxiety was through the roof and I still felt like my life was an utter mess. No matter how much time I spent cleaning, organising, doing laundry, it wasn't enough.
Every morning I would wake up with this infamous list and I would get stressed just by the thought of it. Cleaning, which is one of my favourite activities, became something I would dread so much. Everything stopped being fun and started being a proper task. I felt like I was starting to lose the little control I had in my life.
Then I got sick, it's been years since I've had a high fever or got properly sick, but this time my body was telling me to take a break, a proper one, without work, worries or long lists. It got to a point in which not only was I feeling tired and in pain, I started feeling sorry for myself, I was so weak that all I felt like doing was crying.
I went to the doctor, I spent time in bed, I took my medicines and started to see the light of day once again, because after three days of feeling like utter sh*t, I was finally feeling better and even my appetite was starting to come back.
I'm not 100% there yet, I still have a few symptoms and feel sluggish, but I'm taking care of myself, mentally and physically. Now more than ever I'm taking my health seriously, plus I have a new found motivation to do all I've been avoiding lately, maybe something good is indeed coming out of all of this.
I don't know what the future has

I'll get better with this, I promise, I know I didn't do a good job last month or the month before that but I want to change, I'm planning and hopefully this is going to help me stay on track not only with books but with posting here to, I'm committing with this months reviews. I always do romance and Y/A which is more out of love for the genre but I'll be changing that in the next few months, for now I thought long about what books I wanted to recommend or share with you, I came to the conclusion that a series will do all of us and would get us back in track with reading so here there are.