Here is the thing, I want to dedicate what's left of January to find ways to help me recover and feel better, physically and emotionally. I know three weeks aren't going to be nearly enough for me to be in that magical place but I need to start somewhere and build everything from there.
I'm starting with something my mum realised this weekend. She cooked, it was a delicious meal but somehow I couldn't really finish it, in my plate there was half of my food, but suddenly my apetite was gone, my mind was somewhere else. She mentioned it and I realised that I wasn't eating because my mind was distracted not because I was full.
It's a weird behaviour, a bad habit I developed during the past two months, I find something else to distract me from eating more than what I should be eating to be healthy. It happened during Christmas and new years, I left my plate with food because something else was more "interesting" or deserved my attention.
Once you realise this little quirks, this little tricks you do to eat less you realise that maybe your mind isn't at that healthy state you thought it was. It's disheartening to know that 4 months aren't enough, even a year won't be enough unless you truly work on yourself.
Being a person that mostly eats by herself I can assure you that I've done this many, many times without really realising it, but finding many excuses to leave something in my late and justify not getting enough food in my system, even when I know this is going to help me feel terrible the next day.
That's why I want to make a little experiment in the next two weeks, I want to challenge those little food rules I've set for myself and find a diet and a schedule that can help  me remember why food is so good for our bodies and minds. Without enough nutrients we can't function.
I want to fuel myself properly and in order to do that I have to incorporate more vegetables, more fruits, more whole grains and learn about portions again. I want to get to a point in which every single plate I have is left empty, clean and I don't feel too full or even hungry. I really really want to nourish myself back to health, to be and feel better that I do right now.