I have a problem. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm setting myself to fail when it comes to my resolutions, I always make this huge plan to be better, do more and every month I seem to fail, well with the upcoming year I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've come to the conclusion that not only do I need to be more realistic about my goals but also I need to focus more on what's going to make me happy.
There are a few new things I'm going to be incorporating into my life next year, I'm still in the process of trying to figure out what going to be and how's going to work. It's going to be what I call "the new life plan", a project to better myself and reach my goals. It's all about being a work in progress and figuring out internships and new opportunities to grow internally and professionally.
And as for resolutions that isn't going to be a lot about it. It's going to be all about the things I can work on to be better, be happy and be more myself.
I want to learn to love myself. Being a person that grew surrounded by many stigmas and developed an eating disorder I can say that right now I don't love myself enough. Every time I look in the mirror I'm terrified, every time I want to say something, I think it twice in case I can bother anyone. I need to learn to love my quirks and be less insecure.
I want to meditate more, it's not something that comes organically to me, but something I need to do more in order to be able to spend quality time by myself. It needs to become a daily activity, a period of time I can block everyone and just let my mind be free.
I want to do more of what I love, I want to remove all of my insecurities about showing my work, I want to be more proud of my work and spend more time focusing on those projects that I do out of love, pour my heart into them.
I want to move more, I want to be more active, spend less time sitting around and up my fitness level, I know I can. I know that as long as I dedicate enough time I can do it, I can fight my laziness and do more for my body because it's amazing how much it does for me, doing this only seems right.
I want to read more, I want to find new authors, find new books, even new genres to immerse myself into, I used to be so good about this and then I stopped researching and looking out. There's a beauty in sitting in a library looking through some of the discounted books or the "messy" sections, you'll always find some true jewels in there.
I want to practice patience,  some are born with it and some, like me, cannot handle it so well. I want to be more patient with everyone that's around me, I want to be able to wait around and not feel like I'm losing time, I want to learn to live the moment and have patience with everything and everyone.
I want to be more organised, I want to stay on top of things, I don't want to be running around, sending papers or work on the last minute. The less time I spend doing last minute things, the more time I'm going to have to do more of that I love. I just have to remember to kick myself into gear.
I want to take more photos, I used to dedicate one or two days a week to taking pictures and suddenly I stopped, I stopped dedicating time to doing something that not only brought me happiness but also gave me peace of mind. This year I really want to dedicate time to do something I miss doing and that will always put a huge smile on my face.
And finally, I want to be happy, I want to learn to recognise when I need to be by myself or when everything is too much so I can take a step back and spend time by myself, to let my mind recover, to not take everything too personal, to just let go of all the pain, loss, even sorrow that I've been carrying around, it's not worthy to do this to myself. Everyone deserves to be happy and this year is going to be all about that.