Over the years I managed to successfully hide whatever was going on in my life, every seemed perfect from the outside. The family, the city, the apartment, everything was how it was supposed to be, no one would have ever believed that deep inside there were more problems than you can probably imagine.
This went on for years, I was the perfect kid, until one day I wasn't, something inside me clicked and I realised that life wasn't as perfect as I first thought, life was way more complicated and way more hard to go by as you grew older.
I've learned that it's stupid to try and keep your feelings for yourself, sooner than later you are going to crack either from pressure or just because you had enough and it is in those moments in which you are going to realise who really are there for you and who just liked the way your life looked.
It's hard to take off the mask and break the pattern, most of the times it takes multiples attempts to take it off completely and once you do it everything seems more terrifying, more dangerous, because you feel like there's nothing else to protect you, that's when you are truly against the world.
You are going to get hurt, lose friendships, cry, get angry and feel like none of this is truly worthy until that time when life gives you back and everything will feel brighter, more colorful, more vivid, those are the moments that remind you that all of this, all of the things you went through are worthy.
Everytime you let your emotions shine through you realise that maybe you had to learn that lesson to keep going, that maybe that friendship wasn't meant to last or that love is one of the purest feelings you could ever feel in this world.
Life gives and takes, it's up to you to decide whether you want to treasure those moments, learn from them or hide, not feel a thing.
Mayte.
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