Don't worry I have the same questions as you, "what happened?" I'm not quite sure how everything went down, the only thing I know for now it's that my life is in pieces and I have to learn how to find that sweet balance and bring it back into my life.
Where do I start? At the beginning of the month I was pumped to do all of those things I've been neglecting in the past year, like my mental health and the connection I was having with my family and some of my close friends and after the first week I was feeling happy with the progress I'd made, but week two is when things started to complicate.
One of my family members got sick and was in the hospital, she lives in Morelia and even when there has been a few arguments here and there with that side of the family there was no way I was going to leave them alone at this time of need, so I packed my things and that Sunday I took a bus to meet up with them.
I was there for a week and in that week I barely slept, I barely ate and I barely lived, but I got this sense of accomplishment as I realised that they were in need of help and that's what I did, I also got to see some amazing sunrises and sunsets from that hospital room.
As soon as I got back my mind went into tiredness mode, I was so tired that it took me three days to unpack and be able to see the floor of my room again, but I decided to take it slow and not push myself into doing all of this crazy things under crazy schedules, because as a matter of fact, the day has enough hours.
By Friday I was shattered but managed to get almost everything done, I had sent all my homework, cleaned my room and caught up with work, but just as I was ready to have a relaxing weekend life happened once again.
I want to come clean, my grandma is showing the first signs of dementia and we found out at the beginning of the year that this is only going to get worse with time. It's really hard to know that someone is slipping away from your hands and that at some point she's not even going to recognise us.
So she's been on new med to help her not feel so anxious, but one of them was too strong and she fell on Friday night, she popped her shoulder out of its place and at 5 am on a Saturday we were heading to the hospital, we were there for about 4 hours in which they managed to pop it back into its place and give it a really uplifting diagnosis.
As you can imagine I haven't only been busy with my last set of exams before graduation, I also been trying to work through family problems and on top of that I've also been trying to figure out what's on plans for the next year of my life.
It hasn't been easy and I have a feeling that there are going to be times in which I'm going to have to work even harder to find happiness in all of this, but for now I feel good with what I've done and the people I've managed to help through this. I do tear a little bit when I think of all the things that have been going on but at the end of the day there's just as much as I can do for them.
Right now I know that all of them are in a good place where they are going to be taken care off, so I'm going to sit back, sleep more (I've been living on 4+ hours of sleep at night), enjoy my alone time, go out a few times, eat better, drink more water and plain take care of myself, at least for one week.
That's all from me for now, I know there aren't the most uplifting news, but I don't feel sad, I feel like I'm finally learning to manage all of this and look at the bright side without living in a fantasy. Hope your month was better than mine and as always remember to always keep on dreaming.