My life went from being amazingly stressful and almost painful, to amazingly relaxed and more balanced all in the course of one week, luckily for my friends and family everything went back to normal quite quickly and my mood swung back to be cheery and sometimes sarcastic.
People don't realise how much pressure you are put under as soon as exam week nears, your world revolves around exams, projects, deadlines and facts about subjects you are going to forget in the next couple of days, but in those days they are as important as breathing or eating.
My anxiety started to reach new levels as the days passed by, and even my caffeine intake increased, but as the last and most important exam of the semester approached, my confidence levels reached a new level as everyone had to hold me hanging in there, reassuring me that not only was english a strong subject for me, but also reminding me to give myself a bit more credit.
The first results made my way and a part of me was disappointed, a 43 out of 50 is not a low score, but for me, at that moment, it felt like suddenly all of my effort was not good enough. The comparisons began as soon as people told me about their 48 and how good it felt.
My mood was out of control, my mind was rummaging over my different options if the results didn't favorice me, but as time moved on, realisation started to settle in, there wasn't any more time for anything else, this exam was my ride or die before the summer started.
"Chef" was called to be the victim to accompany me to see the results, after two days of exams and brain exhaustion my mind was ready to either fly or crash, everything was surviving under a fragile balance and those results were only going to make me either really happy or point to the wrong direction.
Luckily for me and everyone around me I passed, it was the last recognition needed for me in that subject, now I have my eyes set in other goals, but as always, we will see how any of those go. For now I just have to keep on dreaming.