I'm ready, I feel like I'm ready because I'm scared, every time I get those butterflies in my tummy I know I'm ready, will it work out? I have no idea, the only thing I'm sure about is wanting to do this.
After working hard in June, after leaving everything in those 21 days I can say I'm ready to sit down, work on those projects I've been meaning to work on, to go out, meet new people, forget about my phone, read more, let the air fill my lungs and be free, at least for one day.
My plans are still there, I will never forget about them, but now instead of merely working in them I want to go out, explore more, expand my vision, smile and laugh like I haven't in months, take pictures, spend time with my friends and family, just be myself.
I won't promise anything, I'm tired of breaking promises, and I really don't know what I want to achieve, all I know is that I want to be free, to let my emotions show through and to be able to relax, be more patient, not so controlling and stress free.
I have an idea of where all of this came through, and a part of me thinks all of this started to build up months ago but I never paid attention to it until now. It was one sleepless night, one of many I'd been having over those months, I remember feeling defeated, tired, restless and lost.
Stress started to eat me over, everything revolved about a goal, everything revolved about me being able to do that one thing everyone was expecting me to do, that's why I couldn't get out of that funk, that's why everything took longer and was not at the level I wanted it to be.
My body is relaxation mode, I'm enjoying the time I've got to do nothing, work on little projects were I know my heart is, put y life in order, prepare for the summer, go out, even laugh. Everything will find its way as long as you work on it, and that's what I'm doing.
Whenever you start feeling flustered remember to take one day at the time, breathe, forget about the pressure and just move on from there, it will get better, just remember to keep on dreaming.