Change was something I was really afraid of, because in the past those changes hurt a part of me and although process had been made, a part of me was still afraid of what might happen if I were to let anything slip and slide out of my control.
But now I'm starting to embrace those changes, even the big ones, like the schedule change I had almost at the end of the semester, or the fact that now I'm letting my hair be all curly and wild instead of trying to tame it. I'm not as afraid anymore, although I still get a little bit stressed when they happen.
I'm even more open to meeting new people, talking with old friends I haven't spoken in a long time. I feel more comfortable with myself, with who I am, with my body and the way I look and even when I know there's a long way to go for me, I'm no longer scared of it.
A bunch of my friends have told me that I look happier, I look more confident and I never really paid attention until I started to get more looks, more smiles. It was like I was living under a rock before this and now I've been awaken and everything is brighter, more colorful and I'm no longer alone.
It takes time, a lot of it, it takes a lot of learning to love yourself, to see what makes you happy and even knowing who you are, but once you start there's no going back. Some days may feel like you aren't moving, like you are static, embrace those days, relax, maybe you are starting to put a lot of pressure on yourself.
Laugh, dance, sing, cry, scream, do whatever you feel like doing, but don't let anything stop you.
I finally feel like I'm ready for something new. I'm finally starting to move forward and it feels so damn right. I'm well aware that there may be some bad days, but as soon as I keep doing my thing and I don't let anything stop me, I shall be okay.
Mayte.
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