I haven't been writing as much as I would want to. Lately everything seems to be falling apart around me, and yes, I do know that I'm the main problem here, I haven't been handling everything as nicely as I would've wanted to, but I'm learning and that's the important part.
I had a very stressful couple of weeks, my family and myself went through some serious problems and it took a tool on me emotionally, my anxiety spiked sky high and as much as I wanted to do something for myself, I couldn't. It was one of the worst episodes I've had in a long while. It took me a week to regain control over myself and my emotions.
When something is out of your control it can really affect how you perform and how you act around everyone, when this happens you have to learn how to make the most of it and right now I feel like I'm learning how to deal with this new set of overwhelming emotions. I just wish it was easier.
This week I've been trying to work on everything that has been bothering me and not blaming everyone else for my lack of organisation or my failures and it has really been working, I've been the most productive girl. I did what I couldn't do last week plus everything I had for this week.
I also started working out more and it hurts, my body aches every time I move but I feel happy and more relaxed, I feel like I have more control over my body and my life in general. I want to do well this month, I want to feel happy again and I want everyone around me to look me with happy eyes, not ones that are full of worry.
I feel like the main lesson here for me it's that if I can deal with everything that has been going around this past months, I can take over the world, not necessarily but that I am stronger than I ever thought. There's so much to do and unlike last week I don't want to crumble under pressure.
As a final note I would like to add that flipping your life around is really hard and tiring, I've been sleeping over 8 hours each night and they have been the most amazing nights ever, I fall deeply asleep and wake up refreshed and ready for what's next.
If you are hurting, if you are in a bad place I want to tell you that you are not alone, there's people out there willing to hear you, to help you. I'm lucky I have amazing friends and family by my side. Look out for help if your feelings are overwhelming you, remember that there are many options out there and you should never give up on you. You are more than worthy. Always remember to keep on dreaming.