Let's begin with the obvious shall we? I've been the most disorganised person this past week mostly because I didn't have the energy to do anything else other than sleep and mourn on my bed. I've been having pretty shitty days lately and even when I know that people say it's normal after everything that has happened, it still makes me feel bad about it. 

That little voice in the back of my head has been my worst enemy, because even when I was laying down, it kept telling me how much of a failure I was being, how much more I needed to do, how much more should get accomplished in the next two weeks, but every time I tried to do anything, my energy would go down.

I'm dealing with a hard reality right here and it has been taking a lot more out of me than I thought. Everything seems to complicate and every time I think I'm coming out, I get hit by something else and I go down. I wish I was stronger, I wish I could overcome this easily but I'm still learning and hurting in the process.

My family has also been going through certain things that even when I know I shouldn't take personal, I do, because it's really taking a toll in all of us. Joined to that has been the fact that my personal life took a turn on Monday when my worries and fears about someone sky raised and for the millionth time this year I was worried about someone close to me. 

My situation is one of those that is hard to explain and overcome, there's no secret recipe to work and live past this but I'm fighting hard to at least see a light, to at least have hope about all of this and not give up on everything, because one thing I've learned is that you should keep on fighting no matter what. 

Next week I hope to be able to focus more and push through everything that's about to come, because if you were to see my schedule for the next month you'll be amazed by it, I'll have no free days and more work than ever before, but that's life and that's a challenge I told myself I would accept and conquer. The question here is whether or not I will be able to do it and if I do, how will I come out of that.

I'm really hoping all of this makes as much sense to you as it does for me, even when I had a crappy week I hope that you remember that life isn't that bad and to always, no matter what, keep on dreaming.

Mayte.