It's been a week since my father passed away, he fought cancer until there was nothing left for us to do. He was in hospital for three days, at home for one. We watched him fade away rapidly, losing his sense of the real world, little by little until his mind wasn't there. He fell asleep for one last time.

I thought about giving up completely on this October project but then I stopped to think that the last thing he would've wanted would be for me to give up, even if the thought of him not being here could destroy me. Somehow, somewhere I needed to have that strength to keep fighting and keep making him proud during the next few years. 

Growing up he raised me to be a strong independent woman, maybe he knew, maybe he just saw the world change for the worse, I'll never know. He pushed me to be an engineer, to study my masters, to learn how to handle myself in front of people. Everything I know about tools, electricity and computers I learned from him.

He was such an amazing man, no one could say anything bad about him. He was a breeze of fresh air to everyone that got to meet him. Everywhere he went he was recognised and loved. There was something so special about him that people couldn't help but to feel safe and understood around him. He was the best husband, father and friend anyone could've asked for.

There was this really selfish part of me that wanted to keep him around forever. I imagined myself getting home from work and seeing him, talking with him like we did before, asking for advice or even just watching tv. But soon I learned that there was nothing else for me to do, keeping him around was cruel for him. It would've come to a point where all he could feel was pain. 

This will be the biggest adjustment in my life to date. Now with my father gone, my mum and I are left alone in the apartment, and we'll have to learn how to work well together and not fight as much so we can keep the last promise we made to him. His two tornados will learn and be better for each other. 

Thanks for 25 years dad, no one will ever forget you, ever. I love you. 

Mayte.