I don't know how to explain it, I just know I have to get it out of my chest, it has been pushing me down, putting a weight over my shoulders, it became something I couldn't just brush off and move on, as much as I would've wanted I knew this was something I wanted to talk about.
I don't love, I don't think I ever did, I cared about you, you gave me back my confidence, you broke my walls and got in, you played with my instincts, you woke this part of me that I didn't knew excited, you were that part of me I denied myself from letting go.
We fell apart, the circumstances made us who we are, two people that were forced to grow up out of mistakes, out of misunderstandings, out of pain, we changed, everyone around this, I even blamed you for everything that happened, I hated you, I hated what you made me feel, I hated the way you could take me back to those days.
Every time we would reconnect it would be different, some were full of lust, some full of pain and blame, others happiness and friendship, it almost became impossible to follow you, your moods. I never knew what would happen next, but the desire was still there.
We broke ourselves, we broke and forgot who we were, every time we are in front of each other the power of the connection takes over, we never know how to stop and for a long time you became the person I would compare to everyone, because no matter how hard I tried, you could never be be topped of.
Life changed, we did, we went through the different stages of grief when what we have, what we were ended, I never understood, it almost hurt, but there was no good in it, we needed to walk away and we did, but nothing seems to have worked out like we wanted.
And here we are again in one of our encounters, trying to decide what to do, where to go, whether we should follow those instincts that once broke us or if we should break off and leave it, the answer is in front of us, as always, we have two options and we both know how to save us.