That's something I've always remind my friends, no matter if it's your boyfriend, fiancée, husband or sex partner, no matter if it has been the sixth time you told him no and he keeps insisting, no matter if he insults you, no matter what happens or what he says, no means no.
One thing I've always fought for was equality, I don't call myself a feminist, because I'm not, I believe in equality of genre, no one being more than others, no one forcing anyone into anything, and most importantly I believe that no human being or animal deserves to be treated poorly.
Why am I talking about this? Because for once in a long time I've seen millions of women scared for their safety, that's not okay, no one should be scared of wearing a top because it may "reveal" a lot and give men the "wrong" idea.
I have many, many stories about harassment and men, unfortunately as a woman that lives in a big city, I'm exposed to all of that quite frequently, my parents live in constant fear over me not coming back home or something happening to me, that's not a healthy way of living and it shouldn't be accepted by any terms.
One morning when I was leaving for my 8 am class a man in the middle 40s stopped and stared at me, I brushed it of and kept walking, he followed me for around half a block before realising that a cop was a few steps away from me, he turned around and left.
Other day when I was coming back from spending the day with "Chef" a man began walking near me as I was nearing the subway platform, he was about half step from me, I turned and looked at him, then saw a cop near me, when he realised he kept walking, that day I waiting two trains, because I wanted to avoid him at any cost.
There are millions like those, I've been lucky, it hasn't grown from there, but isn't it sad that I refer myself as lucky because they only followed me? in which world is okay to follow someone or come really close to them? apparently in ours and that means we are doing something really wrong.
Don't teach our kids that, we need to teach them about respect and love.
I'm lucky to have friends that have protected me through bad moments, if you are one them, keep doing it, you are really appreciated for that. If you see something that doesn't seems right, stop it, you never know what may be happening behind or who you may save,
Remember, no means no, if it doesn't has your consent then it becomes a violation of your rights.
Remember, your clothes don't provoque what's happening to you.
Remember, you are not guilty of something happening to you, you didn't force that person to do that to you.
Remember, if you see someone in danger, help them, you may be saving someone from a really bad future.
Make the world you want future generations to live in and stay safe.
*All of this has to do with rape, harassment, and every situation in which your integrity is in danger, don't let anyone think you were the one that caused it, tell someone, if something doesn't feel safe get out of the situation. **It doesn't matter if you are male or female, gay or straight, etc. no one has the right to do any of that to you, and if you are victim, report it, if you don't feel listened, keep speaking, don't let anyone shut your voice, you may be able to help someone.
*** If I'm referring mostly to women it's because I'm a heterosexual one, that doesn't mean it doesn't happen to men, to part of the LGBTTTI+ community, I'm setting my examples, your voice must be heard too.
Mayte.
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