We haven't talked in so long, I don't even remember what was the last thing I told you, but I do remember the last time I saw you, I was feeling extremely anxious over the whole thing because something just didn't feel right, there's was something that was making me doubt whether if you and I were still friends.
No matter how much I tried, I've been feeling like this for months now, I can't even remember the last time we did something together and we both enjoyed it, slowly our relationship started to broke more and more and even when I was determined to fixed it, it just didn't worked when it seemed like I was the only one putting some kind of effort into it.
I slowly started to trust more in other people than in you, it's not supposed to be like this, friends are not supposed to fall apart over little fights, friends are supposed to trust each other with everything, friends are supposed to stick together, not fall apart...
I even tried calling you that one time, it broke my heart to know that you were more interested in what was going on in your life than mine, I get it, you are going through changes and bad moments, but sometimes I need to be heard too, sometimes I need someone to tell me that I'm on the right path, fighting for what I want and to keep on doing it, but now I know that person is not going to be you.
At first I thought I was just being selfish, that maybe your problems were bigger than you were telling us, that maybe you needed the support a bit more than me, that maybe when all of this was done, I was going to be the one to be supported.
But when I talked with him and you told me the truth, I didn't knew how to react, when you told me that my dream job was boring, when you just talked and talked without caring what I had to say or even when you crashed at the coffee shop while I was working on a project and you just talked about yourself without caring if I was done or not, I knew it, this was not going to change.
I held on to the idea that maybe one day everything was going to change, that our friendship was going to be just like old times, I held to that idea for too long to the point where it started hurting, that's why I'm taking a step back to take full control of my life again, I'm not saying goodbye, I love you, I'm taking a time for myself and even when you may not read this, I'm still going to be here for everything you may need.
It's not a goodbye, it's a see you later.
Mayte.
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