The other day I was having this fight with my dad, we were both tired and sensitive, one thing lead to another and before you knew it, we were both saying things we certainly didn't meant but that hurt the other person a lot.
By the end of the night I was crying on my bed, thinking to myself why I'm never going to be good enough for either my parents or anyone else in the world, I started to almost panic about everyone having really high expectations on myself, but what if I never really got around to shining like anyone else wanted me to do, I started to make hideous ideas on my brain.
But at some point that same night I decided that as much as it hurt, someone (me) needed to take a step back and really look at the whole picture, we were both mad and saying things that may hurt the other, but I know that I don't feel that way about my dad and I know he doesn't feel like that either, then why was I tormenting myself so much?
I started talking with someone that's really close to my heart and has been for a while, without telling him what really happened, he told me something that it's true, will this fight matter in one year? not really, then why was I putting so much energy and time into any of this?
The reality is that no one is never going to be good enough for anyone else, you can try, you can put yourself that goal, but you are never going to get it, it's impossible, people like to criticise you and tear you apart, you have two options, you can either keep trying to please people and never be good enough or you can start doing things for yourself.
The moment you start worrying for yourself and doing things for yourself, you are going to be happy, because no one is going to be behind you trying to make you feel bad for what you are doing, remember the only person you have to give explanations to is yourself, be your own judge and you'll suddenly be good enough.
Mayte.
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