I had a whole different plan for yesterday and today, we were not supposed to catch up and you were going to received a surprise today, but life changes in a second, doesn't it? So let's begin with the story because it's a long one.
On Friday the 15th of April, my mum and I went to pick up Renzzo, a puppy that she had been gifted by one of her clients, he was a small, lovely, sleepy puppy that hated when people picked him up, but loved being hugged and sleeping in your legs.
I took that weekend to fix and prepare everything for him, he slowly started to recognise the house and started to choose his favourite spots, he loved the living room and learnt that he wasn't allowed in the bedrooms or the kitchen.
He had trouble sleeping the first two nights, but the third night he found a spot and slept through the night, he was really calm during his vet's visit, even when they injected him, he took medicine and he didn't mind it, he liked to see what was out there every time we took him out and loved new people.
He didn't pull or bite anything that was at his reach, he only tried to call for your attention and loved when you played with him. He loved my dad and they loved to play together once he arrived home after a long day. He loved my mum and the way she used to hold him, even when she was the tougher of the three.
During this time, he learned that screaming is not okay and that he needed to control the power behind his bite, he was lovely with me, even when I punished him, he followed me around asking for my forgiveness, giving me a look that was hard to resist.
As soon as I woke up he waited for me, he would watch me from his bed with a shine in his eyes, wanting me to play with him, he would wait for me outside of the bathroom watching how I got ready, waiting for me to play again with him, he would notice when I was about to leave, he would play with my shoes to keep me in longer.
He hated when I worked, because that would mean less attention to him, one day while he was taking a nap, he noticed the way my computer was on my lap, the same spot he used to have the day before, he got up and buried his head, pushing my computer away.
By Friday I was more than excited, to have him and spend the weekend with him, I was more than prepared, but when I got home all of those dreams faded away, he bite my grandma, he thought she was going to play with him, so when she took the toy he was playing with, he moved faster and bite her hand.
We tried to look out for options, we wanted to keep him, he became my partner in crime in so little time, I couldn't believe that I was now about to lose him, but my mum and I, after a few tears, decided that maybe it was the best thing for him, we needed to find him a new house.
Nothing was set on stone, until Saturday when at 4 a.m. in the morning, my mum and decided that even though we loved having him with us, the best thing for him was to let him go to a place where they would love him and care about him as much if not even more than us.
Thankfully I have amazing friends, actually "The Editor" found him a lovely house. Actually, I don't know if "the Editor" is going to read this, but in case you do, I'm more than grateful for what you did this weekend, you helped me and even when nothing can make me feel better, you were there for me and you found Renzzo a home.
So, on Saturday we drove for an hour to this girl's house, the car was silent, nobody wanted to let him go, when we arrived, she received him with open arms, that's when I began to feel calmer and better, "The Editor" was right, she was going to take care of him, she was the best option.
And that's where I am right now, I feel tired, sad, but at least I know they are going to take good care of him. My parents know something is up because I haven't been myself, but I can't, it's going to hurt a lot for a while, but wounds heal at some point, we just need to give them enough time.
I've been keeping myself busy, trying to not think about it too much, I'll return to my usual schedules and life would be amazing again, I think, I don't really know what I want to do, I just know that I have to keep going, because that's the only way out.
That's why I didn't post anything on sunday, nothing personal really, I just needed that time out of everything, what I really want to do now it's to focus, start again with yoga, eat healthier and improve, so you might see some changes ahead, who knows what the future has for us.
I hope that you unlike me had a great weekend and I hope that you have a great week and remember to keep on dreaming.