Dear 17 year Mayte:
You are a sad teenager, you are hiding from the world, you feel lonely, you ran away not only from problems but everyone, you lied in order to make a good exit, you are broken. This is a hard time for you and some how you ended up being blamed for everything, now you are thinking of ways to end all of this.
You know how strong you used to be? you really stood up for longer than everyone else though, you lost your focus, you felt lonely, no one can really blame you for the things that happened those days and even if they are brave enough to do it, they are not right and more than one person trust you on this ones, you have more people behind you and you don't know it yet but you are going to hurt a lot of them.
Here is the thing, you did what you though it was right, you went through a lot on those years, but don't worry you are going to find yourself again, you forgot you are a teenager, don't you? you did the same as everybody else, everyone saw you as the grown up, they forgot about your age and how much you still needed to live.
Remember that you are not the only one through this, that's why you just want to help as many as you can. Be aware of the changes that you are going through, accept them and take your time to heal, you need it more than anything right know.