The last time we spoke I told you, I promised you I was going to be okay, you smiled and nodded, then you went away and for a while nothing seemed to be right. Everyone was inside their heads, thinking why you had to go, dealing with the mourn. We knew it was your time, but we also knew that letting go of someone so important wasn't going to be easy. 

It took us a month to think about ourselves again, we slowly regained control of what we were doing, we even made plans for the future. There were so many things you didn't know about. We hid every time someone got sick, because we never wanted you to worry about us, it wasn't worthy. 

A lot has changed in the past 6 months, we've learned to talk, to feel better about us, to act like a family. I like to think that my parents are growing stronger together and that I'm giving them enough support when they need it. Although I still feel like the bad daughter that never catches a break. 

One of the biggest promises I made you that last time was that no matter what, I was going to take care of my dad, your only son. For a while I didn't know if I was going to be able to keep that promise, he was diagnosed with cancer and treatment seemed so harsh and so difficult for him to get that we thought we were going to lose him. 

He's fighting, like mother, like son. He's putting his body through so much in order to remain healthy and be here with us, but I know he's scared of suffering, of leaving everyone behind, of losing his essence. We'll never let him get there, he's got a lot to do and a lot to teach us. He's teaching us to work together, to enjoy the time and to be better people. 

It's been a ride but the love my parents have for each other will keep them from drowning. They've kept a positive mindset throughout all of this that I know they'll come out of this feeling even stronger about their relationship, after all they are about to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. 

Yes, we still argue like we are paid for it. My mum's ideas are still really different from mine, but we are finding our middle ground. She's giving me more free passes and I'm being more vocal with her. She hates every change my life has been through in this months, like I thought she would. My only hope is that she knows, no matter how bad our relationship is, I'll forever stand by my family.

They met someone new, they are on edge about him. It's the first time they met someone this important for me in years. He keeps me on my toes, he was there when you left and he has pushed me to a happier place. I like him, he makes me feel like I can actually do this, like I'm strong enough. I have no idea how long he'll be around, I just know I like him by my side, let's hope he feels the same way too.

I miss you, I miss being little and walking around with you, I miss your voice when I got home, I even miss the way you'd worry when I got home after dark, but I couldn't keep you forever. This is my way of saying that we are okay, we are all finding our ways, working to be and feel better. I just hope you are happy too. 

Mayte.