This year I've dealt with more problems with my body than ever. My relationship with food and exercise  became toxic and I started to let myself go. I would listen to that little voice in the back of my head telling me to eat less or not eat at all, because I wanted to fit into a mold everyone told me I should fit. 

Around July I was in the biggest deficit I've ever been in four years, I was developing terrible behaviours based on what my mind would tell me. Eating breakfast became something I would dread so I would avoid it. Food wouldn't enter my system for 16+ hours and I would feel terrible. 

Every morning I would wake up with a terrible headache or feeling really tired, like all the hours I'd just slept were for nothing. Naps would became my best friend and every afternoon, after work, I'd to take one. 

I didn't see it coming, I thought I was fine, at least at the beginning of summer I was, and then everyone would talk about their weight, how many kg they wanted to drop and I started second guessing my gut, maybe I needed to lose weight, to look better, to fit into a smaller size. 

I didn't I was completely fine the way I was before there was no one telling me otherwise because I'd become so good at hiding how I felt and how little I was eating that no one was going to be able to tell me how wrong I was. 

Then it clicked, one morning I went for my favourite breakfast sandwich, a safe bet filled with protein, and suddenly my mind wasn't fuzzy, I had a little bit more energy and my mood was a little bit better. The only change I'd made was eating food and it all clicked. 

Dealing with a bad relationship with food is hard, it isn't something that comes organically but it is something important for your daily life. Learning that we eat to live and not live to eat is one of the biggest lessons I learned this year. 

Because food is meant to be nutritious, delicious, it isn't meant to make you feel bad. Learn to eat, indulge and enjoy what you have in front of you. It's going to make you feel better and look better. Listen to your body and take care of it, you only get one. 

Mayte.