How fast is this year going? Suddenly it's spring and flowers are blooming once again.
If you have been reading what I write for at least a month, you would know that I've been struggling a lot. Life hasn't been easy lately and I've faced a lot of tests and if I'm being completely honest probably shed more tears in the past 3 months that I have in the past 2 years.
I've been getting in and out of this funks for months, my anxiety would kick in, my energy would get to low and my motivation would be gone. I struggled to do a lot of my day-to-day activities and everything seemed wrong.
Ever since February I decided to kick my but in gear, I decided that enough was enough and unless I were to do something for me, there was no way I was going to get out of that place. It worked for a month and a half and then I faced a slump.
I started April recovering from a sickness, a devil stomach bug that prevented me from working out which by itself made me feel like a failure after doing so well but I've learned that when your body says no, it means no and it will always be for the best.
As the month progressed I realised that I wasn't coming out of the slump, I was getting frustrated with it, with myself, with the world, with everyone that dared come near me and all of this came to the point in which I didn't answered my phone for at least 4 days, 2 if you were important or a regular.
And then everything came down and I mean literally everything came down. No one really prepares you to face death, we are told it happens and it's shitty but it isn't until you face it with someone that you realise how bad it is, how much it hurts and how much more strength you have to find in yourself.
I was in emotional and physical pain for days, it's been a week and I still don't know what to do or how to react. Movies don't tell us that there's people that die young, we expect to reach at least 40, not 22.
For now, I've immersed myself in work and school, because as everything else was happening I was also preparing for an exam to maybe study a masters. Right now I don't really know if I'll get in, all I know is that I'm hurting.
One thing I learned from this experience is that my close friends and family will always have my back. I don't know what I would do without them. My parents have been by my side and my friends have checked on me. I actually saw the pain in my dad's face one of those mornings while he tried to figure out what to say.
The next weeks are going to be hard as we come back to reality and the pain settles, I'll get through this, I know I will it's just that for now and for this week I don't want to take anything seriously, I want to rest and come to terms with what just happened.
I hope you had a good one and as always remember to keep on dreaming.

Clara Morgan is the definition of young, successful and independent woman. She made her way to the top in stilettos by herself, the only help she received was from Barbara, her boss, friend and Jiminy Cricket.

When someone dies we feel pain, we are showered with this sense of guilt and regret of all of the things we didn't do, all the things we could've done, all of the times we didn't appreciate the time we spent together, all of those times we cancelled because we didn't want to go out.
I've definitely felt that way, more than once. I remember that when one of my aunts moved I was so mad that I didn't even said goodbye, I saw her leave and I just stood there, I didn't want her to leave but what I didn't know was that it was going to be the last time I was going to see her.
I regretted that day for years, she was the one that raised me and I couldn't even say goodbye. My mum and therapy helped me overcome those feelings. We talked and I realised that we cared too much about each other and no one was mad with each other, we talked a lot after she left.
And now I feel it once again, because a part of me wishes I could've fixed things with her earlier, I wish I could've been with her before all of this, when she was in trouble, when she needed a friend.
We can't take time back, that's the thing about becoming an adult, you have to live with the decisions you made, even when you know that some of them are going to hurt you. Once you make your mind there's not much else you can do.
Regret is a terrible feeling, the only thing I'm glad is that I actually got to see her one last time and she was happy, actually happy. She was a strong woman that never let anyone walk over her. She set an example and left a mark on everyone that actually made an effort to met her.
If you are going through something similar, talk with someone, most of the time it's because you are reading too much into the situation, you are seeing anger where it isn't. Let yourself feel pain, cry as much as you want and when you are finally coming to terms with it, remember the good days, the memories and make them proud.
She was a character and will never be forgotten.

I was thinking about the memories we shared together and there are many, more than 7 years worth of memories but none of them stuck out to me as my favourite. We had our usual coffees and chat after middle school was over, but was there something that we did that became my favourite?
Yes, there was something and I don't think you would've ever remembered because it was so long ago, I barely didn't remember it either, but this one was the representation of what we would usually do when we got together.
It was in one of those rainy afternoons, the ones we would usually avoid but this time we decided that instead of trying to find somewhere to go, we would buy some food, some beverages, catch a cab, go back to your place and spend the afternoon there.
You introduced me to sparkling water and grape juice, baguettes, cream cheese and some meat. Nothing fancy for the 15 year old but fancy enough for us to enjoy together.
We talked, we shared so much that afternoon and everything that was left was one of my oldest Instagram photos titled "French vagabond food". We were too young to enjoy wine or more sophisticated food, but for one afternoon we thought we would.
We did a lot together, we shared broken hearts, we shared tears and we managed to get through bad times always by our side. We did have a fall out over the years, to this day I still think it was my fault, but I'm glad I managed to see you one last time.
You terrified me, maybe that's why we were friends to begin with, you had something no one else had, you spoke your mind and that made us mad most of the time but it was something that made you stand out from the bunch, without that it wouldn't have been you.
"Somethings never change" and I told you that because even when I saw something different in you the last time we spoke, you still had that bossy essence within you, you had the same mannerisms. Everything and nothing screamed you.
You were the first one and only one for a while, you made me come out of my shell and told me I was able to shine. We fought quite a bit but nothing stopped us from being close with one and other, you had my back and I had yours.
I think, with you, I'll always have something to look back to, a memory, a picture, something that will drawn me back to you, who you were and who you wanted to become, because your mum is right, you were one of the strongest women I met and you'll set an example.
I'll forever miss you.

I'm not ready, I don't even know where I am standing right now. So much happened in the past three days that I don't even know where to start, what to say, or even, how to feel.
No one expect this kind of news, no one expects the pain that accompanies this kind of news because even when we know that death is natural, no one expects it, no one knows when it's going to happen, if you are going to suffer, if it's going to last long.
I've lost important people in my life, but somehow it wasn't something that stuck with me, maybe I was too young, maybe I wasn't prepared for it. All I know is that this time the pain feels different, everything I do mushes together and I can't remember it. The world is still spinning but I'm going in slow motion, missing pieces, feeling lost.
I don't know where to go from here, all I know it's that I'm going to hurt for a while, at least until I can get used to the idea of her not being here anymore. Tears will accompany the pain, they are the only ones that are going to help me heal and move on.
And I know that I'm not the only one going through pain, I'm not the only one feeling like this because there's the people that were closer to her, people that saw her more than me in the past years.
Not everything is going to make sense in the next few days, but I somehow have to make an effort, a real one to come to terms with it, there's so much to do, so many plans, an exam to pass, a job to land and a life to live.
The hardest thing right now is trying to find the energy to do all of those things. But I know that sometime soon I'll get through this and make her and many others proud, I just have to be strong and patient at the same time.
Thank you for bearing with me, this past year has been really tough, everytime I think I'm coming out of something, something else strikes, but I'll get through this, I know I will.

Natalie Garson is the true representation of a city girl, she's known for her love of cheese and her routines. She works hard and isn't scared to use her womanly charms to get a free pass. She has more confidence on her little finger than more women do in her whole body, but it hasn't always been like that. What she doesn't expect is her life changing once again, a new project and a mystery man may be what she had been waiting for a long time to shake her life, but will she be ready to face her past fears? will she be ready for a change?

Golden hours aren't something I get to experience everyday so when it happens I truly enjoy it. Imagine my excitement when it happened in one of my favourite cities, to day this are some of my favourite pictures and moments to remember, walking a puppy through the most beautiful streets, drinking coffee and taking pictures, a real dream for me.









An amazing trip that brought me amazing memories and photos. Somethings you'll never forget and I hope I don't forget this one.

Roxie Callahan escaped her hometown in the search of her culinary dream, she worked hard to get to the top, working with the wealthiest calorie-counting housewifes in Hollywood. She worked a career for herself until a dairy mishap leaves her standing on unsteady ground.
Without much choice left she leaves the city that saw her become a chef to go back to her roots while attending the family business. What she doesn't expect is that the Valley may have different plans to keep her for more than a few weeks. 

Life isn't as good as it sometimes seem. Crap weeks happen when you least expect them to, they show up without you wanting them to be there, they turn your life around and they are test that will show how much you can be challenged to.
I'm having a crap week in the less convenient moment of my life, I know you knew how much better I was doing. For the first time in months I was finally on top of things, my anxiety was at ease and everything seemed to be working out, at least for me.
My body gave up, my tummy felt the pressure and gave up, I had pain, discomfort and a trip to the doctor in my agenda right as the week was starting. Luckily for me, modern medicine can do wonders and I'll always be grateful for it.
And then the call came through, my parents always say that early morning or late night calls are never good, they are right, they usually carry bad news. It hurt to know that one of out family members is no longer with us, but it's even worse trying to figure out how to tell the person they knew the most.
It's the circle of life, it's meant to happen to all of us but you never expect it to happen, not to you or to your close ones. The last thing we wanted was to put more emotional pressure on her, my grandma.
 I don't know how all of this is going to end, where is going to go, I just know that the physical pain doesn't compare to the emotional pain. It's going to be a tough couple of weeks or even months to come and my priorities will change a little bit, but everything will eventually fall into a routine.
This is my way of telling all of you to excuse me if for this and next week not everything seems to be on time, I'll catch up eventually, I'm sure everything will be alright and life will find it's natural flow once again.
I hope you had a better week than me and remember to always, no matter what happens, keep on dreaming.

Working out isn't only about being and looking fit, it's about a health journey, about cutting processed foods, learning to have a better relationship with yourself and with your body and being happy even if you are 5 pounds heavier than you thought.
Your body goes through such a change that it also makes you change mentally, but there are times in which this can bring the opposite result and that when you shouldn't be working out, at least until you understand why it's not the best for you.
You tend to obsess and not in a good way. The moment you set a goal and obsess over it, it's time to stop, when you get mad because your progress isn't as good as you thought, when you spend more time on machines than you should, when you eat less than you should, that's when you need to stop.
You are doing it for someone else. Maybe you want to impress someone, maybe you think this person is going to think you are more beautiful because you look thinner, when in reality you should be doing it because you want take care of your body, you want to be healthy not because you want to attract someone else. If they think that way, they aren't worthy.
You've been told you are "fat" or "lazy". I've been there, it hurts a lot when someone starts commenting on your size and the way they think you should look, but everytime someone tells you something like that you should brush'em off and tell them to worry about their life. No one should ever dictate the way you look.
You have injuries or have suffered from eating disorders. This is a controversial one but goes hand on hand with the first one. In my case, if I were to go into working out right after I recovered from an eating disorder I would've obsessed about it and overworked myself. Learn to know your body and what it needs, talk with and specialist, spend some time resting, set a realistic goal and slowly work yourself towards that goal, but don't rush it.
You are comparing yourself to others. Another one I'm guilty of. I've compared my body to others when my frame isn't as small, I have curves, I will never ever look like some of them because we have different body types and that's okay. You'll look amazing, no matter how many flaws you think you have. Bodies are amazing and should be loved.
You think a restrict diet and killer workouts are going to help you reach your goal, because you'll be disappointed when it doesn't work the way you wanted or when you reach a slump and the scale isn't going down anymore. You have to learn to have a good relationship with food, eat carbs and fats, they are amazing and necessary (as long as it's in moderation and you are also adding fiber, protein, etc.). You have to learn that cardio isn't going to do everything for you, weights are good for your muscles and rest is your body's best friend.
Fitness journeys are hard, I stopped weighing myself about two years ago, I stopped obsessing about having 7 workouts a week about a year ago and I started loving my body more and more about 6 months ago. I eat in measure, I don't avoid sugar, carbs or anything that has been victimized, because that's what works for me right now. There's a lot more I would want to work on and I'll do it, but I won't punish myself if I don't look the way I wanted in 15 weeks.
Learn to love what's around you, learn to love your body and everyone will turn to look at you.

Remember when I said I was relaxed and in a good mood? Yeah, me neither and it isn't like I'm mad right now, the thing is that I'm tired. My brain, body and soul are dishevelled after the week I had and I know I shouldn't complain of having work, but I'm complaining.
I started with high hopes and even higher responsibilities. There was a lot to get done this week if I wanted to get through and have a bit of free time during the weekend. My first obstacle was adjusting to the time change because we took an hour away by adding an hour this Sunday.
On Monday when my alarm went off my brain said "nope" and snoozed for about 30 minutes until I realise it was 7:00 and I was supposed to leave my home at 7:30 and I had to wash my hair. I succeeded, don't ask me how, I just know that it wasn't until my lips came close to a coffee cup that I truly woke up.
Tuesday was a more relaxed day, I went for my usual run that was worse than ever, I was regretting going before I even started and my muscles were incredibly sore from the day before. Again, I succeeded to then come home to a mad rush because I had to go to the dentist, pick some papers and meet my parents.
By Wednesday all signs of motivation or even energy where completely gone. I was supposed to go and take some pictures which didn't happen, I came back home to assess my options and decided that I had far too much to do to give up now, but I took a nap and realised that yoga can truly cure all of my bad, I did a stretching class that loosened up my muscles and made me feel fresh again. 
Thursday was a complete miss, I did what was urgent and rested my feet high, I was drained after a run, a meeting and house issues that were unnecessary. But at least I did something for me and my body. The only thing that can be rescued from this day was the amazing chinese food I had for lunch.
And now it's Friday as I'm writing this, I just sent my last email, finished cleaning up my room and desk and everything feels fine once again, all of the work truly payed of.
It was a hectic week, I worked out 4 times, went for 2 runs, went to different meetings and managed to send everything that had to be sent on time, even with time to spare for corrections. Am I tired? Yes, I can't wait to sleep more than 7 hours, but I'm happy and relieved. I know I can and will do more because all of this is worthy and I love it, no matter how bad my under eye circles are, I'll never change a thing.
That's all from me for now, I'll keep on writing for now, hope you had a great one and remember to keep on dreaming.

In this past couple of months I've managed to read a lot more than I wished and I've been falling more and more in love with those amazing books and as you know, in the beginning of the year I researched and found 18 books that caught my attention and one of them started this whole month's TBR.

Yes, it is a series, but it's lovely and filled with food and real problems that aren't addressed enough. It's a light reading and in my opinion it doesn't have as mature language as other books that I've recommended in the past. Thank you Alice Clayton for combining two of my favourite things in the world and put them in a book.
Have a good month and remember to keep on reading.

Back in November I went back to one of the cities that saw me grow, it wasn't out of pleasure, it was a family emergency and even when I didn't get the opportunity to leave the house and do as much as I would've wanted to, it was still one of the most amazing trips I've had in a while.










Seeing this pictures makes me happy, I got to explore downtown while walking an energetic puppy and drank good iced coffee. What else could've I asked for?
Truth be told, this trip took a toll on me mostly emotionally but for me, being there was the most important thing, they needed support and I was in a position where I could give it to them, so I did and I regret nothing. There's a part two because all of this are just from one day and I was there over a week. Hope you liked them as much as I did and as always, remember to keep on dreaming.

Working out has become a really big part of my life. Over the past two years I became more aware of my health and the impact that being so passive was having in my mind and my body. My therapist made the recommendation many times as it's been known to help those who suffer from anxiety, but it wasn't until I noticed that I was losing my flexibility and had a new job lined up that this idea appealed to me.
It was hard at the beginning, it's still hard now but once you get into the groove of things you realise it isn't as bad as you thought, you get to enjoy that hour plus you have at the gym, outside or even at home. During this two years I've learned that there are certain things can help you have amazing workouts and most of them have helped me to get back into the mindset and actually enjoy it.
Focus on the movements, this means no distractions, and if you are cringing at this, I get it. It isn't easy when you are starting but the more I train, the more I realise that focusing on what you are doing and having proper posture is going to help you not get injured and have better results.
When in doubt, do your favourite workout. We all have those days in which you don't feel like working out, the idea is dreadful but you still have this little voice in the back of your head telling you to at least do something. Do your favourite workout, keep it short, simple and keep a positive mind set, always try to enjoy it. My favourite workout is a quick HIIT circuit, killer but effective.
Hidrate before, after and in between, this is going to help you to keep going. You don't realise how much fluids you lose while sweating until you get that little reminder in form of headaches. And remember to not drink a lot of water at once while training, it can make you feel full and make you nauseous.
Push yourself but know when to have a little rest. There's a difference between hurting yourself and the burn your muscles get when you push them a little bit farther. Learn how far you can be pushed and don't be scared of taking a break from time to time. If you heart rate isn't going down or if your muscles feel like they are starting to cramp then it's time for a little break.
Learn to listen to your body, not every movement is going to feel good and as any trainer, teacher and coach out there is going to tell you, it isn't worth for you to cause a injury for the sake of a pose. So if your knees or joints are hurting come out of the pose and try something else, no one is going to judge you for that.
And as a bonus one, always remember to stretch, your muscles are going to thank you later and you'll be less likely to have cramped, sore muscles the next day.
Once you start working out there's a lot to learn about yourself and your body, you'll go through a change, you'll gain confidence and you'll feel better on the inside, it's going to be a long process but it's up to you whether you are going to enjoy it or dread it.
Find something you love and whenever you get bored switch it up. Don't feel pressured to do as much as others and remember that you don't have to go to the gym 5 days a week. Do what works best for you, don't compare yourself to others and learn to love your body and the amazing ways it can change and how strong it can become. Learn to do it for you.

Last week I had the opportunity to travel to my mum's homeland not only to see where she'd grown but also to visit family. Living 6+ hours from us, it's never easy to go and visit them but everytime we go I'm amazed by how much I love going there and how beautiful it is to get out of the city.
We used to go more often when I was little but as I grew and life got more busy the visits slowly decreased to the point in which even though we call them, we don't see them every year.
One of my favourite memories from all of those times we went to visit is when my grandma on my mum's side and his brother took us to see their land and everything that was growing there. For me it was a first, a scary first.
We all took off on a day long excursion. I wish I had pictures from those days but I was 10 when this happened and I had no clue on how to use my dad's camera and to be honest, I didn't even care about it.
That land has been famous for being very fertile, they mostly produce sugar cane and bananas and entering was like entering a different world, everywhere was filled with plants and many different things. The only rule we had was to remain close as the path was narrow and tricky to go back to.
My brightest memory is to when we faced a plant of coffee beans, they were red and not ready at all but I remember touching it and asking them what this was, being the little city girl I was I didn't know that coffee came from beans they would later on toast and grind.
My dad explained me the process as we continued seeing everything around us and finally reaching our destiny, the little hut that overlooked the land and the little towns around us. My grandma made a huge effort to get there as the condition in her legs wasn't the best.
I don't know for how long I'll remember this day, some parts are becoming more blurry as years pass by and although I know it shouldn't, it saddens me, because that was the last time my grandma saw the land that saw her grown, my uncle has since then passed away and nothing will ever be the same as it was that day.
This is one of the main reasons of me wanting to write some of my memories, it's a way of preserving all of those memories that are slipping away. It's sad but this days are the ones that made me amazingly happy growing up. I hope you enjoy them and as always remember to keep on dreaming.

I don't know where to start, this week was really chilled, I'm on spring break and for the second year on a road I ain't leaving the city. I'm staying in, going out and spending well deserved time with my family and some of my friends.
This year though I had to get one of my wisdom teeth out because it was hurting me as it was coming out and for the sake of my sanity and my parents I decided that instead of suffering I would get it done and move on, as you do.
In my head it was going to be this small procedure, I've had teeth pulled out many times in my life and I know my dentist, he's not one to make my life miserable. I was calm until everyone around me started telling me how bad it was going to be, how much it was going to hurt and how I wasn't going to be able to eat.
My appointment was the last one of the day, my reasoning behind it was that if I did it in that way I was going to be able to have all of my meals and not suffer of hunger the rest of the day. As hours passed by I started getting more and more nervous, the voices of everyone were in my head and not even working out or cleaning my home where taking them off of my mind.
I got there with as clear mind as I could, sat at that chair waiting for him to be done with his other client, listened to music, trying to calm myself and not succeeding at it. When the time came my dentist asked me why I was sweating so much.
As a little note I would want to add here, I'm not over sensitive, I can take pain and usually anestesia kicks off immediately for me and it makes me sleepy and has that douzzy effect on me for hours, he knows it quite well and the dosis he gives me are pretty low.
So when put the topic anestesia to then inject me I was numb, I couldn't feel a thing and less than 3 minutes later he was pulling the tooth out. It took him less than 5 minutes and he was done. I didn't felt a thing and I realised that I should never listen to anyone but him.
Half and hour later I was stitched and ready to head back home. I learned a huge lesson, because it's true what they say, pain is personal and no one can feel it the same way as you.
Today is the next day and of course I feel pain but to be honest it's mild compare to some of the cramps I've dealt with . Nothing that the pain killers can't cure and the best part has been being at home, in bed doing nothing because I had a note from my doctor.
Now I'm still recovering but as I said I'm going to spend the days with my family, resting and recharging for everything that's to come. April is going to be a great one and I have many goals, mostly in the fitness part, I was feeling amazing by the end of February and I want that again and that can only be achieved with 5+ workouts and healthy eating.
I'm excited, a little scared but also in a good place so I'll keep my head in a positive mindset and move on from there, hope you have a good one and remember to keep on dreaming.