I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling right now. On one side I feel tired and stressed, but on the other I feel like my life is finally starting to take shape and all of those things that once felt like lost causes are now starting make sense and fall into place.
Throughout this week I've discovered that I am stronger than it sometimes seems, but that being like that also takes a hell of a lot of work and energy out of me and that's what sometimes leads to me being careless and not pay attention to what is really important, like all of those projects I've been trying to get started on.
Monday was a tough day for me, I had barely slept, I was dealing with a lot and a part of me wanted to just give up, leave the house and do something that was easier. I ended up crying for about an hour until there wasn't any anger or stress left on me. It was oddly therapeutic and relaxing.
Tuesday was better in a way, I didn't do even half of what I'd planned for the day, but I was feeling calmer and for the first time in over a month I was able to take a nap, be by myself and enjoy doing those things that make me happy without having to worry about any other problems.
Wednesday is when things go downhill, I woke up sweating and shivering with pain in my tummy. I knew something was wrong so I went to take some medicine that did nothing and I was either crying from the pain, changing positions or just praying that everything would go away until almost 3 in the afternoon when I went to the doctor and he gave me something that calmed me within an hour.
Thursday and Friday were the most productive days I've had in such a long time and it felt really good to be able to do all of those things I've been meaning to do, like email my tutor that wasn't happy with me or clearing the floor of my room because there was too much crap in there.
I'm finally getting back into the groove of things and even when I know it's to early to say I'm coming back, I have a good feeling about it.
You can tell by the way the blog changed, it has a new image and I'll be working on it as days pass by. I'm really excited and pumped for everything that's to come. Have a good one and remember to keep on dreaming.