So in the last post I talked about my anxiety and how much it affected me in that month of work, I just wanted to quickly add that if you have been reading me for the last six months you can recognise the signs, they were there and I just brushed them off, but as they say, accepting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
August was an interesting month, I finished an amazing project where I met the love of my life... not really, but at least I met amazing people and got to spend incredible experiences with them, like pulling an all nighter, dancing and singing to uplifting songs, making fun of them, spending time with their kids and just not caring about what others may say. I cannot say how grateful I am for having them in my life and enjoying a month by their side. I hope I can see all of them in the next one and make more memories together.
It's weird to think that even though I was in a happy place, laughing and smiling, I was still in a bad place mentally. I don't think I can explain it, because I don't understand it. I just know that there were little moments in which I would feel terrible and then something would happen and I would smile and everything was better.
But that project is now closed, I have to keep going, I'm on my last semester of college, feeling terrified, yet lucky for everything that has happened to me during this four years, I indeed learned a lot of myself and grew to be more outspoken. We just have four classes to get through and then a thesis, which is really scary, but doable.
Now that everything is set and done I have to move on, I want to make a few changes in myself, work on my mental health which right now it's a priority for me and will be for at least the next 6 months, work on my connexion with my family and friends, do something crazy, have fun, laugh harder and just be happy.
I can't lie, I'm tearing up a little bit as I write, I feel like it's my way of taking pain I've been holding on to, it's a way of letting go of many things that have been on my shoulders for way too long, because we all know this year hasn't been easy, but it will get better and everything will be back under control at some point.
Let it be an amazing September and remember to keep on dreaming.