So in the last post I talked about my anxiety and how much it affected me in that month of work, I just wanted to quickly add that if you have been reading me for the last six months you can recognise the signs, they were there and I just brushed them off, but as they say, accepting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
August was an interesting month, I finished an amazing project where I met the love of my life... not really, but at least I met amazing people and got to spend incredible experiences with them, like pulling an all nighter, dancing and singing to uplifting songs, making fun of them, spending time with their kids and just not caring about what others may say. I cannot say how grateful I am for having them in my life and enjoying a month by their side. I hope I can see all of them in the next one and make more memories together.
It's weird to think that even though I was in a happy place, laughing and smiling, I was still in a bad place mentally. I don't think I can explain it, because I don't understand it. I just know that there were little moments in which I would feel terrible and then something would happen and I would smile and everything was better.
But that project is now closed, I have to keep going, I'm on my last semester of college, feeling terrified, yet lucky for everything that has happened to me during this four years, I indeed learned a lot of myself and grew to be more outspoken. We just have four classes to get through and then a thesis, which is really scary, but doable.
Now that everything is set and done I have to move on, I want to make a few changes in myself, work on my mental health which right now it's a priority for me and will be for at least the next 6 months, work on my connexion with my family and friends, do something crazy, have fun, laugh harder and just be happy.
I can't lie, I'm tearing up a little bit as I write, I feel like it's my way of taking pain I've been holding on to, it's a way of letting go of many things that have been on my shoulders for way too long, because we all know this year hasn't been easy, but it will get better and everything will be back under control at some point.
Let it be an amazing September and remember to keep on dreaming.

You never realise how much junk and dust you collect over a few months until you're decided to really go through it and get rid of some of it, it takes time and it becomes a physically and mentally draining activity. Talk about long process.
But we are here and I feel like I haven't made long of a change in things and when you look at it, it looks almost the same way, but my head is starting to feel a lot calmer and seeing everything come together makes you feel a hell of a lot better about your surroundings and working in them.
The only thing I haven't even touched is my desk, from far away it looks just fine, everything is organised and where it's supposed to be, but in reality there's a lot more to it than it seems, as I may or may not be an stationary hoarder and believe in keeping everything because who knows? I may use it later in my life. I blame my dad for that one.
Then there's the bedroom, which isn't as bad as the other places, it's more dust than clutter to be honest, that's the one space in the house I always try to keep clean and peaceful so when I go to bed I don't feel stressed in anyway, although sometimes it can get a little bit out of hand when I get to busy to clean.
I'm planning the process of reorganising my bookshelf, because I want for it to be more welcoming, with less things and even more accessible for people to find anything, but it takes time and a lot of thinking. I don't want to take everything out and then regret what I've done.
Finally the closet, it was the same situation as the bedroom, it wasn't that it was disorganised, it was that as you take stuff in and out of drawers everything tends to get messy and jumbled up. Over time it stops looking the way you set it up and it stops being pleasant, so instead of doing the same I do every week, I took everything out and folded it properly again and it was so satisfying when everything went in and looked the way it was supposed to.
That's that, I feel like the next time I'm finally going to have everything where's supposed to be and not as it is now. It feels good to finally have a nice place again, I hope it lasts forever or at least until the end of the year.

In a month I managed to destroy everything I've worked on for the last month and half, and I know I should be feeling terrible about it, but to be honest I don't regret a thing (maybe one or two things should've gone differently, but that doesn't change my position).

I feel like I'm talking with one of those friends you see every two years but refuse to let them go, mostly because the memories are way too precious to let go that easily. So grab a cup of tea and let me tell you what has happened in the past month or so.
First of all, I'm sorry, I did an update about two weeks ago in which I promised to be more consistent, thing that hasn't happened, then I posted the resolutions were, once again, promised to be more consistent and, again, it hasn't happened. None of this was part of the plan, but let's start from the beginning, shall we?
About a month ago I started working on a summer course, not only was I excited because that's my dream job, but because of all the memories and people you get to met and spend time with daily. In that month you really get to meet some people, you laugh, you cry, you pull all nighters with them, and most of the time it doesn't matter how hard the job is, you do it with a smile on your face.
But something inside me wasn't right, as you know I suffer from anxiety and something I've been learning is how to recognise the symptoms and take care of myself. During that month my anxiety picked to it's highest point in about two years, to the point in which I wasn't really sleeping properly and I could feel my heart pound inside my chest telling me that something was really wrong.
This went through for about two weeks in which my mind was restless, my body was aching, but the smile was still there, as big as it was when we started. My mistake was not talking with anyone, I thought that at one point everything was going to go away or that going back to taking pills was going to be the solution and then the big panic attack happened.
You never get used to them, you really don't know when they are going to happen, but that Tuesday had been hell for me and adding a panic attack to that just made me feel more like crap, like once again, I wasn't worthy of anything that was happening to me.
This mood continued for the duration of the course, I just wanted to finish up with that big project and move on, not say goodbye, because I would definitely go back, but just take time for myself. I realised that in about a year and a half I haven't taken time for myself, I haven't enjoyed my time alone, I've been under pressure, surrounded by people and that's something that doesn't do me right.
I know some people are going to read this and maybe be surprised by me having anxiety or realising that during that amazing month I was struggling, but one thing I've realised through four years of actually dealing with it, is that I'm not my anxiety and even when it sometimes takes control of myself and my mind, I can fight to be who I truly am and enjoy more of the life we live.
This is me saying that I want to get better again, I want to work on myself, not only physically, but mentally, which I've been neglecting over the past 12 months. I can deal my anxiety, I know I can, I just have to work hard on it and it will pass.

Hello there, I haven't seen you in a long while, how are you? how's your dog? have you missed my stories and terrible comebacks? Yeah, me too, but you shouldn't have to wait much more for it, because I'm preparing a few thing for the rest of the year and I shall be busier than ever working on them and really bringing it on.
I've been gone for what feels like an eternity, but in reality was more like two weeks and a few days, but it has really been killing me, mostly because, as I've said it many times, this is my place to really say everything, this is my creative escape and I plan on keeping it for a long while, so you'll truly get more from me.
For now you'll be getting updates, I'm still working on getting back into the groove of things and balancing school again, plus a few struggles here and there, and I really want you to catch up with me, because there has been a lot that hasn't been said or done.
So, for the next two weeks you will be getting updates, plans and weird posts from me, but it will all come back to normality, plus some surprises, in September when I will most definitely have more time and, if everything goes according to plan, I'll be most organised.
There's not much more I can say as you'll be reading everything in the next few posts and I don't want you to get bored with details and redundancy from me, so that's all from me for now, I'll see you tomorrow for an update I should've done a month ago if only I'd seen the signs and asked for help.
Have a great week and remember to keep on dreaming.

Mornings can be pretty tough on all of us, mostly on Mondays when all you can think of is going back to your warm comfortable bed and disappear from the world, but the reality is that you have to go out and put your best face. Luckily for all of us there are somethings you can do to make your mornings better.
Give yourself time to wake up, this means setting your alarm for 10 or 15 min earlier than you normally would. It may sound a bit radical, but instead of getting up immediately after your alarm goes off, you'll have 10 min to wake your body up, stretch and stop being so sleepy before you start your day.
Take a shower if you are one to feel extra sleepy in the mornings, this will refresh you and help you feel even more awake, and even if the shower doesn't do it for you, the coldness you'll feel from getting in and out of the shower will do.
Eat something, a lot of people say they can do breakfast, but you just gotta remember that it doesn't have to be a big, impressive meal, as long as you put something into your body for it to function you'll feel better about it. Remember that low sugar levels cause crankiness.
Drink water,  all day but in the morning it will help you feel lighter, less groggy, less sleepy and it will help your body hydrate which is amazing if you need to focus or start doing something right away.
Avoid caffeine for the first hour of the morning,  as tempting as it can be to get coffee to wake up, it will not have the same effect if you drink it first thing in the morning as if you drink it an hour into your day. You won't get the same effect and you'll start "tolerating" it more.
Avoid stress, one of the worst things is waking up, checking your emails and realising that this day is not going to be as wonderful as it was at the beginning, so avoid anything that can possibly stress you or bring you to the edge, plan your outfit the day before and don't reply any messages until you've had something to eat.
It's true, mornings do get easier as you get the hang of it, you'll realise quite quickly what works for you and your lifestyle. In full honesty we all want to have slow, relaxing mornings everyday and although that's not entirely possible, you can make some of them a lot better if you try and don't dread them so much.

I'm slowly starting to recover control over my life, after three weeks of endless morning work and lazy afternoons, the end is finally nearing and I'm going to miss it, I'm going to miss everything and everyone, but life goes on and I have a lot to keep working on.
This month I want to focus on really accomplishing my goals, focusing on what I truly have to do, spending less time doing what I shouldn't and giving myself time to spend with family, friends or just myself. It's going to be all about balance.
Personal Goals

• Spend more time with my friends and family. 
• Workout 4 times a week. 
• Be more present in everything I do. 
• Be more organised. 
• Learn something new. 

This is the second time I sit and try to write this and let me tell you, it isn't getting any easier, but as I wrote in the first one, there's only one way of getting through this and it's by sinking into it, head first and going through with it, even when you are scared.
For the past three weeks I've been working and living one of the best experiences of my life, summer course 2017, better than ever, with more experiences, more laughs and more stress than ever. I never expected for it to be this way.
My mind has been as busy as it can be, my body has been taken to the limit in every way, but every time I sit down and reflect on all the things that have happened for the past three weeks, I can't help but smile like a fool, because not only does this is an amazing experience, but it's also what I love and where my heart is now.
But then, there's this other part of me that has been feeling over emotional, I've felt like crying more times than I can truly accept, I've missed my mum more than ever, which means that I've also been relying more on my friends and closing myself up a little bit more.
On that note, my anxiety has been striking once again, mostly at night when I'm ready to fall asleep, I can feel my heart pounding, my tummy going funny and my worries going up and up, my dreams have been crazy weird and overall there are nights where I feel like I don't rest enough or everything seems to go wrong.
I feel like that should be all for now, at least those are the highlights of my life right now, although I'm starting to resent the fact that the summer is almost over, my life is about to change again, the job is due in one week, my last semester is coming up and I still don't know what to do with my life.
A kind of small update, but I'm starting to hate this ones, I feel like every time I do them it's because I'm starting to lack, become more and more disorganised and lose myself in other things that may not be worth my attention, but we will see how everything goes right now, from here and onwards.
Have a great, month, week and day and remember to keep on dreaming.

And we are back at it. I really enjoyed having a set list of books to read within that month, it really pumps me up to read more of unknown authors, or books I wouldn't normally read.
For this month I have a theme or an author, Mariana Zapata, who has become one of my favourite best selling authors ever, and that's hard to accomplish, but she has an amazing point of view and after "The Wall of Winnipeg" I couldn't help but to read everything else that she has written, so let's do this.

• Wait for it, Mariana Zapata. 
• Lingus, Mariana Zapata. 
• Kulti, Mariana Zapata.