All of this comes from an Adele song, "A Million Years Ago" and the fact that I'm going to work this summer and once I start I don't stop until I have to go back to school and once I'm at school, I won't be able to see any of them as often and besides what they think, I really missed them, I love laughing with them and just talk.
This week I went out to work to a place that's near my old high school, the view of the place is amazing and it has this work vibe, I was minding my own business when "Artiste" called me, she went to see me, we ate, we laughed, we catch up, but in the middle of the conversation, I couldn't help but notice that we are in different places, we are not growing apart, we are still friends, it's just weird.
I also received numerous calls from "Stranger", which are strange, we are friends and I love him to dead, we just happen to be to busy for each other and it's not an excuse of why we don't talk, I mean it, everytime we call each other, we have to either call it short or it just cuts out of nowhere, it's really weird. Anyway, we talked as much as we could, which was really nice, he's always been the one pushing me forward and making me feel safe and confident.
It feels real, you know?, we are all doing our things, being serious and being busy, it makes me a little bit melancholic, I remember how it was in high school, when we met, and it felt so easy, we were all close friends that saw each other every day, that made jokes, all the pranks, all the laughs, I wouldn't want to relive it, because once was enough, I just feel nostalgic over the idea, maybe it's because I've been talking with them.
Another part of my week consisted on me feeling extremely anxious and in a cleaning mood, extreme cleaning, I moved my bed, took the dust out, changed sheets, it took me a solid day to do that, but when I was done I felt really happy and accomplish but not so relaxed.
Part of that was because I've been making decisions this week and that makes me wonder "what if it's not the right one for me?" or "what if it's not the right time?" and that really messes up with my head and I feel anxious and there are only to ways to relax me, cleaning or exercising and this week I've used the two.
But know I feel better, I came to the realisation that if I'm lucky enough to have this opportunities, why not take advantage of them, I want to live, experiment and all this gives me that power to do it, I'm just going to need to find a balance and work hard and those are things I know how to do.
Mayte.
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