I still go to therapy once a week, I go by myself to talk or sometimes to let everything out, she always asks me about me and my feelings, there is where I have two options, lie or tell the truth,  most of the times I lie about those horrendous feelings that she made me discover over a year ago, but this was one of those times where I needed to tell the the truth and let everything out, it has been eating me alive since my auntie died.

The truth is that I'm sad, I want to cry, I'm mad and I hate feeling like this but I can't handle goodbyes, I hate talking about them or living them, everytime I say goodbye something happens, I've lost a lot of people with a simple goodbye and I don't want to live that again, coming home to an empty space hasn't helped either, for some reason I don't know what to do or how to feel.

This days I've been trying to not think about it, I've tried almost everything in my list, reading, cooking, cleaning, writing, yoga, stretches, exercise, even sugar overload, nothing has helped me accept that she's not longer at home, reading or watching T.V.  

This is the main reason of the lack of posts, I don't know what to write about, I don't now how I'm feeling. 

Mayte.