Dear Mayte:
You are about to turn 20 years old, how does it feel? are you feeling older? wiser? more tired? This is a big deal for you, remember? 20 was your year, you've planned a lot for this, this is your time. You still have a lot to figure out, but I can tell you some things that you forget just to make it easier for you.
Thing will get easier and better, you have been though really bad things but you've managed to get out learning from them, so hold on in there a little bit longer, don't let anything get to you. Remember you are stronger than you think.
You are amazing, remember when how it felt when someone said that? you believed it and you started making awesome things, you don't need anybody telling you that, you need to remember who you are and what you are capable, you are more than you think.
Be patient, this is your weakness, you tend to be annoying when something doesn't go your way, breathe, calm down and let the world spin, do what you have to do and use the free time to relax more. Remember that not everybody goes to the same speed, so chill out.
Finally, follow your dreams, I know that you are scared of being criticised or rejected, as I said not everyone will go the way you want, at the end of the day, it's your life and your decisions only affect yourself. Remember to stop listening to everybody else and start listening to your heart and mind.
Don't forget to be awesome and stay strong.