Life has many contrasts, you never understand what everyone is talking about until it happens to you. It's been a long ride over the past two years, I've lost some of the most important people in my life, but I've also lived some of the most amazing experiences and gained so much knowledge that I can't help but to feel a little ping of guilt over the happiness. 

My father was an amazing man, full of dreams and knowledge, everyone around him couldn't help but to feel attracted to everything he did. He would give each person advice, he would teach us what he knew and wouldn't be scared of doing the dirty job just to get the work done. He's the kind of men writers dream about.

He lived before his time, he taught me that women have to work harder to get recognition, but that we can do whatever we want and that if someone is scared of my success just because I've got boobs, they shouldn't be near me. He helped my mum get a degree, a better job, a better life and wasn't scared of her having the highest income. 

By the time he got sick, I've met someone, and he got to know him. They liked each other enough for me to feel like I was finally reaching that balance I always craved in life. They didn't get to share much time together but one thing I'm sure about, he knew this wasn't a fling.

I lost a man to gain one. I'm lucky to have met someone thats willing to learn and move with me every step of the way, that isn't scared of me knowing more than him. He was there through the hardest parts of my father's passing, hugging me and letting me cry, he held me and kept me from falling over when the time. All I could think is that I finally met a man I can actually trust and love. 

It's been a wild two years, I've cried, I've let myself feel the pain and I've also grown stronger. There's no doubt in my mind that whatever happens next I'll be able to take it or at least learn from it. To many more years of learning and falling in love. 

Mayte.