My name is Mayte, I'm 20 years old, I study "Computer Engineering", I'm starting my third year and I still almost two more years to go, I love with both my parents in an apartment near downtown my city, I've lived here for most my life and even when I travel a lot, nothing ever compares with my city or house. 

Coucou! I'm back and better than ever! In the past two weeks I've been thinking a lot about my life and what the hell I'm actually doing. Let's go back two weeks and two days back...
Sometimes when people look into my life that see this girl that seems to have everything figured out, when in reality, I don't know what I'm doing half of the time, I don't even know what I'm going to do after college, I'm winging it, that's never been a problem until a few weeks ago.
Everything started when I couldn't find any of the things I wanted and I had mixed-matching socks, it may seem like something normal and quite common, but not for me, I've never been like that, I hate mess, I love organising my life and finding everything without having to look around, I sat down and realised that not only my room was a mess, but my life was hanging of a really thin string, that's when I decided to take a few days to figure my life out and most importantly, put it back together.
But what I didn't took in consideration was the huge surprise I got that Monday, one of my ghosts from my past, found me and now knows where I go to college, I've been running from him, I disappeared and never hoped he would found me. This took me by surprise and I was freaking out before I could think of anything.
Thankfully I ran into an old friend of mine and he actually calmed me down, I never thought I would actually be almost having a panic attack because of this. Then out of nowhere my best male friend "The Entrepreneur" (You'll understand this tomorrow) when to visit me, he gives the best hugs and I didn't realised how much I missed having him around, until I saw him again, he always makes me laugh and he's like the big brother I didn't had.
After that I started this new stage in my life, I didn't wanted anything coming to destroy me, so instead of leaving everything for the last minute, I'm going back to my basics and planning more and more.
I'm going to end with those bad habits that have been hunting me for a while, I want to go back, I didn't had a really structured life, that's not my thing and I would never want that, I just want to know what to do, where to go, where to find my things, go to bed with a clear mind, instead of having to worry about the things I didn't do because I was procrastinating, I don't want to have to print my homework 10 min before class, I'm going to work to get there and I will do it.
Have a great week, start of the month and keep on dreaming.

Literally, I've been feeling terrible this week, because surprise, I'm sick again, I have the flu, the worst part? I still have work and school, I can't miss any days and I'm really grateful for the weekend, because at least I can stay in late and read.
This week was quite plain for me, I didn't had any major events to report on, which was good for a certain part because of course my body is shouting for rest, but for the other part, I'm so used to go out at least one day a week that I got bored and when I get bored, I procrastinate, which only makes me lose more time in things that can wait.
In other news, this week I kinda had a boost of self confidence, for the first time in many months I can say, that even when I'm sick, I feel pretty, what makes this even weirder is that I haven't been putting that extra attention on me, I've been doing and wearing what I like and feeling comfortable. I also have come to terms with my hair, because only a few people know this, but my hair is curly, the thing here is that I tend not to let it be as curly as it can be, but this week I've been letting it be and I like it, it looks different and quite nice.
Today I'm making a promise, not only myself but you too, I'm going to take care of my health, because as bad as it sounds, I hate being sick, I feel tired all the time, I feel weak, I just want to be healthy for a whole month, I don't want to have to worry about having tissues or medicines.
Finally, i haven't quitted the #100DaysOfProductivity challenge, the thing here is that I haven't had the right tools and time to do it, so instead of numbering days, I'm going to put the date and what I did, this has been making me like more and more tumblr, I kinda want to use it as a diary, just to put up a little post of my day.
I hope that you had a healthy, fun, marvelous week, and that this one that's about to start is even better. Keep on dreaming. 

The last time we talked you told me the truth, that's when all of my fears became real and I discovered that the person I've fallen in love didn't exist, it was all part of your act to get to me, and at the end you got it, you got me, as if I was a prize.
You were confident when we first met, you knew that even when I had a small group of friends and seem happy, I had a past and something hidden, when you talked to me I knew that you were going to be dangerous, but I didn't care, I was up for a game, for a challenge and so did you.
You got yourself in every team I was in, you tried to get me, but failed after a few weeks, then you decided that it was time to add someone else to the game, but she didn't deserve any of that, you were using her, you were trying to make me jealous but to this day you regret that decision more than any other one.
I made my choice and moved on from you, I started to put my eye on other boys and you noticed, you weren't that happy when one of them was your close friend, but you had to play your part, you couldn't say or do anything, you could just suffer in silence. You tried to approach my friends, you try to keep off boys from me, but nothing worked, because at the end you had a girlfriend and I was free to do whatever I wanted with my life.
That's when it all went to waste, I stopped paying attention and move on from you, but you didn't accepted that, it wasn't what you wanted, it wasn't how your plan was supposed to go, so you tried to find a way to get to me again. That's when I discovered I've fallen for you, but I couldn't say anything, I couldn't lose in this game.
You went out with one of my real friends, not the ones that faked around me, a girl that liked me, a girl that was nervous to tell me that she wanted to date you, I couldn't say anything, it hurt, but I was decided to move on, I knew you would hurt her and I didn't said anything, I just let you and your friends play, I'll regret that forever, she didn't deserve you, she didn't deserve anything that happened to her.
After that I decided that it was enough, I stopped playing and walked away, you tried to bring me back with lies, with words, but nothing mattered, I've had enough and so did the people around us, it was time to stop before we hurt someone else. I avoided you, I started having male friends and you tried to control that, so I disappeared.
Years passed before I could forgive you, when I was ready to talk to you, I expected that the pain that we went through could've told you a lesson, but I was mistaken, you were caught in a web of lies again and I wasn't going to participate, I just wanted to know the truth.
You broke my heart, but you taught me so much, I don't hate you, but I can't have you in my life again, it wasn't until I understood how much pain we'd created that I decided that we were better apart.

"Those are like wounds, they heal with time but they leave a scar. Those scars never disappear, you learn to live with them. "

Jonathan, 24 years old.

"Time heals it, there's no secret way for you to be okay"
Isadora, 20 years old. 

"It doesn't heal, you forget about it, maybe the wound won't even heal, you learn to live with that."Joaquin, 21 years old. 

"Growing and accepting, watching everything from the other side and of course... learning to love yourself."Anonymous. 

"Giving yourself a break, trying to start again, thinking that it won't happen again."Daniel, 20 years old.

"With fun and food"
David, 20 years old. 

Now that I'm back in school, work and life, I'm slowly starting to live more and more, which means that more and more things are happening everyday, things I want to share with someone, things that may not have an outcome, that's why I write them under a different name.
Anyway, I want this back, they are fun to write, sometimes I feel like they are some kind of diary, I can't do them every day but every once in awhile I'll try to put one up.
Back to story, today, well to be honest since I came back to school, I've been feeling weird, happy but weird happy, I don't really know what's happening with me and my mood, but the other day while I  was going to my next class, I started to feel anxious, why? I don't know, but I had to sit down and take deep breaths to calm myself down.
Today was even more of a roller coaster, I told someone I care about my story of relationships, because I wanted him to know why is so hard for me to go on a date, thing he didn't understood and turn everything to be about him, which hurts, I mean, a relationship is a two way street, it's about two people, not one, anyway, after that I started to shake and hyperventilate, I was waiting for my next class to begin, I talked with my best friend but she had to go, that's when I walked through the library doors and decided to pick a new book.
I turned my cellphone off and read for a whole hour, which is new for me, because even when I read a lot, I tend to read up to 20 min every time I have the chance. After that little break I felt like it was not enough, so I grabbed my bag and headed out to the only place I could ever scream and punch things without getting told off or hurting anyone, my old gym.
I don't know if I ever talked about this in here, but I used to be really fit about two years ago, I was looking for ways to avoid a therapist and it actually helped. Anyway, when I got in there, I instantly felt better, when my old trainer saw me, he told that it wasn't an "I'm mad, I should go" option, that I had to be consistent, I get it and even when I gave him a bad look, I know I want to go back.
Taking all of my fury out, left me dead, but as always I had to back into my life before anyone notice that I left for a few hours. Those are the moments when I really think about my life and how different it can be from others and how much pressure I put on myself. I indeed took an hour to rest before sitting down to write this and make my homework.
This is where I would put and emotional phrase or a lesson, but this time I don't have any, sleep tight and keep on dreaming.

Coucou! How are you all? This was a rather unique and fun week, it'll be a crime to not tell you anything, so my advice is to make yourself a cup of tea and sit down while you eat, relax and read this week's story.
Most of you know that my week starts of Sunday and this one had an amazing plan, we wanted to have a little party with family members in my household, but we didn't anticipated was that my mum was going to be exhausted, my dad was going to get a flu and I was going to have an awful stomach flu. We obviously cancelled everything and had our small and unique little party, just the three of us. It was nice but not the same.
Monday was the first proper day of the semester for me, so even when I was feeling a little bit down I still had to go, what made me miserable was having work meetings on the afternoon. Tuesday went the same way with my dad still in bed, recovering and getting bored of life and my complains. To be honest I was procrastinating this days and not doing what I was supposed to do.
From Wednesday my life started to get interesting, my best friend went up to visit me at my school, which was the first surprise, she wanted to chat and study, so I wanted to give her a surprise, one of her friends from high school goes to my school, so I made a plan for them to meet without any of them knowing. What I didn't expected was that other of her friends was going to be there and everything was going to be even more fun than I anticipated. That afternoon I had a meeting near my school which meant that I had to stay in school later than usual. I waited patiently with my friend's friend which I actually really like and it's starting to become one of my friends too.
Here's where the story takes a turn, we walked and sat down to talk when some of his friends arrived, which honestly was pretty fun, for those that don't know, I suffer from social anxiety so meeting new people is really challenging, but this time it was different, I actually talked with them and it was fun, they were funny and approachable. Then more of his friends came in so we had to squeeze three people in a two people bench, I was between on of her friends and him, normally having them so close would've freaked me out, but I was fine, I was enjoying everything and talking with him made me really happy.
Just as a fun note to add in here, he actually hugged me and try to kiss my temple but I moved, which ended in a rather funny kiss on my glasses.
Friday marked the beginning of my french classes, I know again, but this time it was different, I actually participated in class and didn't get as nervous as I usually do when meeting new people or talking with my teacher. It's new for me too, but I guess that I'm just starting to understand this.
Saturday, today actually, I started my day "school early", which means that I woke up at 7ish am and starting doing things around my home that were making me really nervous, like cleaning my desk, it was crazy messy and I found some crazy stuff that shouldn't be in there.
That was my week, as you can see it was a mixture of work, school and friends that turn it to be quite good, interesting and fun. On other news, I wanted to write some new things for V's Day but I can't, I'm in such a good place life guise that I can't focus on love, so I'm going to do something random. At the end remember that being single or in a relationship doesn't makes you better.
Have a great week, day and keep on dreaming.

Do you even remember how we met? I do and not only because of you, something bad happened that day and I couldn't help but cry, I was outside of your classroom waiting for my friend, I didn't knew you were there, I bet I was a mess but you didn't care, you picked me up and hugged me, your voice and smell were soothing.
The face my friend had when she saw us was the same everyone had when they found out we were friends, it was a mixture between amusement and hate, no one liked us together, everyone had something against us and everyone had an opinion about us.
I remember how there were times when you wanted to impress me, even when it was no necessary, I never needed any of that and neither do you, I was impressed since day one, you were confident and funny, almost every girl's dream, but what I liked the most about you were your eyes and how genuine you seemed when you were around me.
We fought through things, even when we were never a couple, we were something else, something different, something we never labeled, we just understood each other, we stood through words from everyone, it seem like everyone's mission was to part us apart.
One of my biggest regrets was not telling you how I felt about you when you asked, I'll never foget that day and how I felt, you told me that you wanted to take care of me when you heard that I was sick and going under treatment, you wanted me to be right, that's when I heard those words "I care about you" and I froze, I didn't knew what to say or how to say it, I just hugged you.
That's when it all fell apart, you found somebody else, you left me behind and everyone just added to that pain, you told me what you had been carrying inside you since the beginning and even when I tried to defend myself, I knew that all of this was done, that there was nothing left to save, we gave them what they must wanted.
We made each other jealous, our personal goal was to make each other miserable and we somehow did it, we knew were to hit to hurt us, he started to hear what others said, we paid attention to them, we just wanted to destroy each other, we started a fight that no one knew how to stop.
We had to go through hell to understand what happened between us, we stopped seeing each other, we took a time off that helped us heal and want to apologize, which we somehow did in our own unique way.
Now I know that we are better apart not hurting us or others, we were great together but we can't be like that, not at least now, at the end we both are pursuing our high school dreams.

"When you stop looking, you find it."

Gustavo, 21 years old 

"I don't know, but if you discover how, please tell me."

Jonathan, 24 years old.

  

"You can't find it"
Isadora, 20 years old.

"You can't find love, love finds you, it comes when it's less expected."

Joaquin, 21 years old.

"You don't find it, it happens."

Anonymous.

"It's not like there's a map to find it, it just happens. It's something that doesn't have a beginning date but has an ending one." 

Daniel, 20 years old.

"You don't look for it, love finds you when it's less expected."

David, 20 years old. 

"You can't find it, love is that thing that happens when you less expected and when you stopped thinking of someone else."Mayte. 

Everyone likes to talk about this weird thing called "love", no one really knows what it is, everyone describes it in their own way, no one can force you to feel it, and even when you can get an idea of what it is, you have to feel it in order to understand what the hype is about.

Welcome back to this crazy show, I never know how to start, that's why sometimes it can take me up to two or three hours to write a post, it's a slow and sometimes even painful process that I love, there is a fun fact for all of you.
Back to the subject, last week had everything, even awful headaches and more sleep than usual, as all of you know I like to start my week on Sunday, meaning that I have a day to plan my week and get organised before the load of work of homework punches me on the face, well this week was a bank holiday for us so everything had to be done in four days.
Last Sunday my parents and I took a little time of and went for a road trip, again, we like them a lot, we went to this foster that is in the actual city, it's amazing, we've been there before but it never gets old. Monday as I said felt weird, we did everything we usually do on a Sunday, which is grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning.
When our week officially started I actually had to cancel two days worth of work because I got sick, I had to stay in bed, as soon as I tried to get to get up I was feeling dizzy and in pain, by Wednesday I was feeling better so I picked myself up and cleaned the mess I usually make when I'm feeling like this, which mostly consist on wrappers, tissues and things everywhere.
The main reason of me wanting to put up my life together was because on Thursday my semester started, an interesting day if you ask me, but it was quite nice to go back to everything and see my friends and chat, what made this day even better was the fact that I got to see one of my close friends after and go for lunch, which was really fun, we walked without destination for a while to finish up in a lovely coffee shop for two hours, discussing and talking many things, then we headed to our usual place to have lunch, which ended up in almost other two hours of talking until the waiter hinted that we had spent too much time and we just walked back.
And now it's Friday while I'm writing this, it may seem like my usual Friday, school, work and lunch with my parents, but this time I'm actually shattered and I just want to go to bed and relax, I get that we all have pressure and this is why I hate working for my mum, but that doesn't mean you have to take it upon others.
As for my 100 days of productivity, I've doing it, I feel amazing doing it, the only thing that I'm missing is energy to post it every single day, but I guess I just have to get used to it and just do it.
Anywho, have a great week and keep on dreaming.

It's been awhile since we last talked, I remember that day, you stood me up, you thought that was enough of a punishment after arguing with me, what you didn't knew is that even when I knew I made a mistake, I was not going to apologise, I just wanted to end things right.
I remember the first time we met, my first day of middle school, I was the new girl and you were some sort of queen bee, your name intrigued me a lot, it was different and unlike any other I had ever heard, no one ever got it right without asking how it was spelt.
We started to spend more and more time together and without noticing, I lost myself in your words, a part of me just wanted to fit in and at the time I knew you knew the easy way, I didn't hesitated, not even when you got mad because I hung with people you didn't.
I grew and started exploring what was out there, it was obvious for many people how different we were, yet we never noticed, we were destined to take different paths and when it was time to make our choices, you made fun of me for going a different way, for talking to people you hated, for hanging out with people that you didn't liked.
At the time I didn't took it as important, but it was all there, as we started to hang out with different people, we noticed how different we were, how we enjoyed different things, how being apart made us better, but none of us wanted to point out the obvious.
Maybe we were afraid of leaving behind the last part of our middle school, maybe we didn't wanted to hurt each other, there are many things that could have happened, but it was just a matter of time before we had that fight.
It was an honest mistake, something I knew you needed to know, yet a part of me didn't wanted you to know, it spilled and made a huge mess impossible to clean, because no matter how hard we tried, our friendship was too broken to fix.
I remember your words, "Why don't you told me you wanted to stop being my friend? That way we can all stop pretending that this friendship even exist" I didn't knew how to take it, I didn't handle it the best way, I thought that giving you time to cool off was the right thing.
You were wrong, I didn't wanted you to stop being my friend, I loved laughing with you and we had precious moments together, too precious to let them slip away, but you were right in one thing, we were pretending to have a friendship.
We grew apart after being three years together, we didn't took care of us, we stopped hanging out regularly, you started trying to include other people into the mix and even when we tried to make it work, it was a matter of time before it was all destroyed.
Many people would think that I hate you, but I don't, I could never do that, you helped me understand a lot of things, you helped me through rough times and I will always treasure those memories. I know that you are capable of a lot of things and even when I know you won't be reading this, I wish you the best of luck and a good life.

"It's the feeling of want to be with someone that likes to be with you and accepts you and you accept that person the way he/she is"

Sergio, 21 years old.

  

"Love is that state of mental instability that you have when a person arrives to your life, it arrives to change everything, your lifestyle, the way you look, your mood. But even with those problems it makes you happy."

Jonathan, 24 years old. 

"It's a feeling of caring towards someone" 

David, 20 years old.

 

"It's wanting to share moments with someone, be there for that person without caring of what happens, you stop being only you in your mind, you want to see that person happy. It's not only being happy or sad because love is not a mood, loving is living experiences that at the end are going to be worthy"

Gustavo, 21 years old.

 

"Love is something you start feeling with time towards someone, that makes us feel happy or complete"

Ivan, 19 years old. 

"A feeling that makes you feel different, a two way sword, you don't know what's going to happen next,it makes you feel weird in a positive and a negative way"

Joaquin, 20 years old. 

"Love is holding someone close, memorising their smell, their gestures and never letting go"

Mayte.

Something new isn't it? If you been here from the beginning or even from this week, you'll know that one of my main goals in life is not only to find a balance and be happy but to be productive every single day, why? because there are many things I want to get done and I sometimes tend to lose time around not doing much. Hard to believe but it happens.
I'm halfway through my mayor, yet I feel like I have a lot I want to get done and I'm not ready to go out and be a proper adult, of course I have a paying-job and a family that supports me but that's not going to be forever, I want to be more productive this semester, that way I'll do more and have a lot of free time by the end to travel and figure my life out.
100 days of productivity is a Tumblr challenge where you share a photo every day telling why your day was productive, you mostly can find it in "studyblrs" and I find the challenge to be quite difficult because as I said I sometimes tend to leave everything for last minute, this time I'm going to have to do it on the day and not joke around as I would normally would.
This is my main project for the semester, unless I have to be sick in bed I won't be taking days off, because even if you do one thing you have to get done, you are being productive.
My main goal in this project is to have better grades, when i first entered college I had pretty good grades but it hasn't been the same since then, it's not like I'm not making an effort, it's just that I haven't been putting my 100% and that needs to stop, I want to take better notes, like the ones I used to have when I was in my first semester, I want to be focus and do it. Also a part of me hopes that this helps me with work and this blog, I feel like sometimes I don't do anything or not enough.
I won't be in my room or my desk working non stop, I will be having a social life only more balanced because I was sometimes leaving friends house way to late and way to tired to do anything and that happens more than I would want to.
I'm starting something new a little bit later on the year but as long as I fight through it, I think I would be able to get it done and succeed. Plus I think it's a really good idea for everyone that wants to improve and it's quite a flexible too.