For a few months now my life took a turn for the worst and for the best. In a matter of weeks I was given responsibilities regarding a whole company and my dad's health. Suddenly I wasn't the 20 year old that could fuck up, fix it and keep moving, I was the 25 year old with big girl responsibilities that needed her attention right away.

I became what I dreamed off in the blink of an eye, but once it happened, I no longer wanted it. 

Growing up I always dreamed of being the power executive, the one with all the power, big cars and lots of money. It isn't until you are in that position that you realise that not only is it not as glamorous, it takes a toll on you and requires a lot of work. 

In hindsight, I got everything I wanted a year ago, I became the power executive but I kept myself from accepting those responsibilities and I just complained. I didn't take any work seriously and instead I ran myself as thinly as possible. Quite quickly everything broke down and the only solution for me was to accept that everything I knew and was doing was wrong. 

It was time for me to start again from zero, relearn and fix everything I fucked up. You see, I always thought the glamorous life came with bonuses, like help and extra hours in the day. They don't. If anything you have way less time for everything and help can be escarse or even non existent. Little by little you learn that people fight to get to those places, but staying there is harder.

A part of me wishes someone would've guided me. Or at least helped me through everything that went down during the first few months, but as with everything, some things you have to learn on your own. I fell, I stumbled and after a few hard hits I decided to finally pick myself up and do what I had to do. 

Here we are once again, learning from our mistakes. I hope you are in for a new ride, and as always, remember to keep on dreaming.