I'm more than grateful for everything I got to live this month, even the bad things, they help me learn and keep going. We'll see how everything goes next month, hopefully a lot better.

I would love to sit down and tell you how amazing March was, except it wasn't like that, this month has proved to be a real challenge for me and everyone around, I don't know if it's the change of air or the remains of winter that we had, but I really hope it all gets better from here.
Since the beginning of the month I knew something was off, I was just recovering for a long month of sickness and although I was ready to pump myself up, I found that it wasn't happening, I had something else going on, I was feeling a little bit lost within myself.
Luckily I didn't had as much work as I did before or in past months, which was nice but also meant that my incomes were not as good as others, which is fine considering I don't have big bills, but my savings indeed suffered a lot because I spent a lot more than I ever thought I could, but I shall be working on that and getting better at prioritizing my expenses.
The ugly part of this month was definitely my anxiety, I haven't had as bad anxiety as I did since last year and it wasn't fun having to call one of my friends because I was suffering from one big one but also I was on the street which is not safe at all. Anyway, I've been working on that, practicing yoga to focus on my breathing and a lot more things to feel better. And as Sir Elton John would say "I'm still standing"
As for this space I feel like it's the one that suffered the most, when I go through rough patches my creativity goes away and I wasn't able to write anything I felt truly proud of, hence the little break and awful post from the week before, but everything seems better now and I have more ideas to explore.
The highlight of the month were definitely my friends, I don't know what would have been of me without their unconditional support and patience with me. I also had the opportunity to met new people in my classes which have been amazing and it's really nice to see familiar faces.
I've also been working on my photography a lot more and being more brave with some shots. Reading has become my favourite thing to do no matter the place, you'll find a book on my bag at all times and it case everything fails, I have ebooks on my phone.
And that has been my month, it has it's up's and it's down's but now I'm learning to openly laugh and not be embarrassed, to cry, to tell someone when something doesn't feel right and be me, my weird self, because I wouldn't want to be anyone else.

It's nice to see you again, it's been like two weeks since the last time I had the opportunity to sit down and write anything, not because I was busy, but because I was really struggling to get my ideas out of my head and make them seem cohesive. I took a break, but in this two weeks I learned a lot more about me than anticipated.

Kate Evans only has one friend Rachel who is married to the man she's always been in love with, but instead of disappearing like others, she stays and takes care of the kids and Rachel when Shane is not there, she avoids him at all cost, making their relationship distant and cold. But everything changes one afternoon when Rachel suffers and accident leaving Shane and four kids behind.
What I liked:

• The plot was more mature than others, having kids involved complicates and calls for more drama which in this case I enjoyed a lot. 
• The kids are really involved in the story line, there's never a time in which they forget about them or leave them hanging, they are always there and have a voice, they play an important part in the story and that doesn't happen a lot.
• The backstory was simple, yet it made the story a bit more complex as it helped understand why some of the characters were that way, plus it adds up in characters.
• The fall out, I don't say this often, but this time I could feel the pain with the character, I even cried, it was written in a way in which you could feel connected with the character.

Lately my friends and I have been talking about comfort zones, we all have them, it's quite easy to fall into a routine and not want to see what's out there, it makes us feel safe and we almost create this environment in which we feel comfortable in, and living in a bubble you get to ignore a lot of things.
For us, a common topic is people, more often than not you only get to talk with people you know and feel comfortable around, if you are in a crowd you avoid meeting the person next to you because you may either feel weird doing or feel like it's unnecessary, we want them to take the first step.
We all have been there, meeting new people is hard, we all get nervous, but once you break the ice that first time it's quite easy to keep going if the relationship (either friendship or something else) it's meant to be, you either instantly click or you don't, there are no inbetweens. When you click with someone, you can feel it, the conversation flows without pressure, the nervousness goes quite quickly and all that's left is a nice talk.
Of course you are not going to be able to have that connexion with every single person, but you never know until you bite that bullet and realise that although it's hard, it's also worthy, you can really get to meet amazing people in the craziest situations and you won't regret it.
I'm writing this to myself and to everyone out there that's scared of meeting new people, one thing I've learn in this past few days is that even when it's hard, it will always be worthy talking with that person you feel curious about, you may get to know your soulmate, a crush or even a good friend that will stay with you forever, you'll never know until you do it.

We made silent promises to ourselves, we promised to never leave each other's lives, no matter how bad the situation was, no matter what happened, we were always going to be there for each other to celebrate achievements, to talk when we need to, to make new decisions, or even to comfort each other in times when we may need it the most.
Those memories of us talking outside school will never fade away, the way we used to smoke and feel like adults even when we didn't know what was out there, the way we thought life was easy and we made the the most of it, laughing and not really thinking on consequences, because back then, life was easy.
But life has evolved since then, our high school is not ours any more, our addictions disappeared, others appeared, love came and went, sometimes it stayed for longer periods of time, sometimes it was a fling, a quick one. We became adults with responsibilities, we found our passions, we dedicated and those times faded away.
The memories are still there, they will always be, but this time it's different, we are making new ones, exciting ones, some on our own, some with good company.
Sometime in the future we may cross paths again, maybe we will laugh about those lost memories and how easy life seemed, maybe we will catch up on our lives, because we grew to be a family, we learned from each other and we'll miss them forever.

They say to always stay on the bright side no matter what, even when times are tough you know it's not forever. As you know I've been having a rough couple of weeks trying to adjust to schedules, work and mostly life, I've been pretty sensitive to anything happening around me which affected my mood and my ability to push myself forward, but this week everything started to brighten up.
On saturday I got a message from "Chef" asking me to accompany her to a library, I didn't had to think it twice, I said yes and talked with my parents (because even when I'm an adult, I still tell them my plans) and it turned out to be a really good outing that kind of reseted something inside me, I felt more motivated to keep on going.
Sunday and Monday were pretty normal as I had a lot of work and responsibilities to go through, but nothing special happened, other than me getting braces on my bottom teeth, which hurt all week and made me feel like a baby again.
Tuesday was when I started to feel down again, I didn't had much to do but felt incredibly pressured to get everything done in certain amount of time, so the stress started happening, plus a banging leg pain that didn't go away no matter how much I stretched, but on Wednesday I decided that instead of stressing I needed to up my game and do something else, so I pampered myself and read an amazing book.
Thursday is when everything turns around, I was in the middle of a class when I received a call that got me so happy I was buzzing, quite literally, I was shaking out of emotion and nervousness, then I went to talk with some of my friends and catched a ladybug, and finally to do a lot more work, but through the day I felt happier than I have been in this past couple of weeks.
Friday was the funniest day of the week, I was still trying to burn out the energy the call gave me, spent time with old friends and managed to finally get the sushi I've been craving for the past month or so, but the funny part comes when my mum and I went to my aunt's house and forgot the key inside her house, so we were trapped in between, then when we finally reached one of her neighbours they wanted to call the cops on us but we convinced them that we were family members and as we were heading down I made a car's alarm go off, even a few nuns in front of us were laughing at this point.
And that's how my week went from ok to really exciting, we shall see how this mood keeps going through the week as I will be having a little bit more going on with a lot of work and school, but I feel motivated, happy and ready to take on that fight and many more that are to come. My content will be changing over the next week or so, I want to improve my writing and my subjects, I feel like they have been all over the place.
I hope your week was as good as mine or even better, if that wasn't the case, remember that it can always brighten up, just smile to the world and it will shine back and remember to keep on dreaming.

Lady Jane has a beautiful life from the outside, but everything is different from there, everything has changed after the failed marriage proposal and short marriage with a wonderful man, she's left with no one to take care of her and a sudden fear for her brother and her father who are going to seek for their interest and no one elses. But everything changes as she quickly decides to arrive to court and become one of the Queen's Lady and meets James Lacey her lost love interest who may be having a hard time on his own having to leave to the Americas, leaving her in a compromising situation where no one but him will be able to save her, but will he be back on time?
What I like:

• The tone: Eve Edwards knows how to write a historical novel, this book was beautifully written and it really portraits the tone of that period of time. 
• The plot: Not a lot of people enjoyed the story line but not only did it fit the period time that the novel was settled in but it was a refreshing change from the first novel and the way the characters seemed to be. 
• The changes of voice: Both characters are in different places emotionally and physically for most of the novel, which makes it more interesting and you can see what leads the character through the novel.

About a week ago I went with my parents to help an old family friend figure out something with his accounting, it took much longer than anticipated so at one moment we began talking about plans, about the past, about everything, but out of nowhere, everything shifted to me and my plans for when I leave college.
Usually I never get bothered by people asking me this kind of questions, because I always give them the same answer and they seem to accept the fact that I really want to try different things and try the different areas in which my mayor can take me, they also accept the fact that I don't see myself doing the same thing for the rest of my life, but this time I got a little bit pissed about the way the question was directed.
"But you have to choose, you have to think where you see yourself in 5 years" he said, my face was photo worthy, I don't see myself anywhere in 5 years, I have one main goal but not a clear road to get there and after a lot of talking I realised that I wasn't the only one and this was not a problem, a lot of people change careers through their life and end up being even more successful.
And then he said something that made it even worst "Well, working with kids can be profitable if you know what market you get yourself into", and then I realised that even when I'm pretty lucky and have parents that support every crazy project I get into, I'm starting to make my own "real" money and it all comes from doing something that I love and that I never thought would bring me that kind of "success".
After my frustration from the talk faded away, I realised that I got frustrated over something I thought I had put behind me, I can't even remember the last time I've let anyone criticize my life choices like that and then he comes and makes me get this frustrated and almost rethink my plans for after graduation? No.
If you are in a similar situation, brush it off, it doesn't matter if you are graduating, pursuing your dreams, following a different path to what everyone thought, you do you and don't let anyone tell you what you should be doing, because if you don't love it, it's going to show and sometimes it's better to have less money than to be unhappy.

About 8 months ago I started to make a lot of changes, mostly internally, I wanted to get to a place in which I would feel happy with the person I am, but also with the things I put out there, because believe it or not, the attitude that you have towards your life makes a huge impact on you and your surroundings.
The first change was to work out, before this I would be able to spend all day in bed and not do much about it, but when one job offer came my way I took it as a sign for me to start doing something that I should have done years ago. It was a tough process, I'm still not 100% happy with my resistance or my body just yet, but I'm surely seeing positive changes.
Then it came my passion for outside environments, truth be told, I can spend a whole week in bed and feel okay with it, but once I started to enjoy the fresh air and my days out, I started to realise that I felt happier if I went out, so instead of spending most of my time at home, I try to balance it out.
And everything started to snowball without me even noticing, before I would avoid fruit or vegetables at any cause, now having a meal without veggies seems weird, drinking juice seems too sugary, the one thing I can't give up just yet are sweets and pastries, but once you realise that you really are what you eat, the way you see food changes a lot.
My anxiety became something more bearable, I can't say it's under control, but I've come to a place where I feel comfortable enough to meet new people, speak my mind or even go into small crowds and not have a freak out, I can handle a conversation with a stranger and still feel a little bit comfortable.
My work ethic also changed a lot, before I would leave things for the last minute and not go that extra mile, but in this last job I discovered that if you put that extra mile people are going to notice and you are going to feel more accomplished, and this not only helped me get through that project but it has also been helping me work more actively in my school work and overall projects that I have going on.
But none of this came overnight, it took a lot of time and acceptance, if I were to do any of this because someone was asking me to do it, it would have never got done. When making changes, you need to do them for yourself, that's the only way to succeed and feel completely happy with them.

Life is hard, we all know about it, there hasn't been a week this year in which I wasn't reminded of that, there has been a lot going on and a lot more that's to come, all of this added to fact that I haven't been resting, sleeping or taking time for myself, has been really making me feel drowned in problems.

Bishop Riley has a problem with crowds, even when he's a known baterist, he hasn't fully mastered the art of performing in large crowds, this leads to really big addictions that he covers up by saying it's a way of relaxing.
Penny doesn't have time to lose with a bad boy, she's more interested in her game, hockey, being the only girl in a team can be hard, but she knows how to handle all of that. But one thing she's missing is a way to handle her feelings and when a foreign mysterious man reaches her cabins, she starts to lose her cool and even oper her heart a little bit.
What I like:

• Bishop: Most of drug addicts won't accept they have a problem until it's either too late or something big happened in their life, in this case they manage to keep that real part of him in the story, they don't make it fall out of an addiction easily. 
• Penny: It's weird to find strong female characters that don't feel intimidated by the male role, she knows what she wants, she's not afraid of talking, she lacks a bit of confidence towards love interests, but other than that she always manages to keep her head high without being cocky. 
• The way they don't change as soon as they get involve with each other, we often see one of the characters changing to fit the mold to be liked, in this case no one changed for the other person, they overcame situations and stayed true to themselves. 

February was a weird month, I didn't go out as much as I usually do and that has left me with not as many different things to share with you, not to be misinterpreted. I'm grateful for a lot of things, but this month there weren't as present as they have been in others.




Not much but each one of them made me happy, I hope you had a great month and remember to keep on dreaming.

March is coming, the flowers are starting to bloom, the weather is changing and it's finally time to start putting out life together and getting that body ready for the near summer.
This month I don't have as many goals as I had in past months, one because I really need to relax and keep the real to not put more pressure on myself than the one that I already have and two because I found that even when I may get a little bit of free time, I can't do everything, so instead of making a huge list, I'm focusing in the ones I think I can accomplish and will enjoy.
Personal Goals:

• Read 5 books
• Workout 4 times a week
• Save money 
• Stay organised