The end of exams week and also the end of the semester has been crazy, for some reason everyone keeps thinking that school is easy, like they don't even remember when they went there any more.
After stressing I want to take part of March of to do fun stuff, to know new places and relax... I think stress has made me emotional, so every time I see someone worried on the street, homeless people or someone that's not in a good place, I want to help them so bad, but I know I can't and that frustrates me so much. I want to do so much more. I want to be better to help others...
I'm glad this part is over, let's see what's waiting for me.

Living in a rush has become a normal way of living for me. The other day I was walking and I remembered how much I loved my school because everyone was in there own business, I forgot about how much I enjoyed spending my free periods reading in the hallways or how pretty the school looks when it rains or the smell of freshly cut grass in the mornings.
I forgot about the small things in life that I love doing, things that make me happy but I don't even notice when we have so much to do, those little things are the ones worth watching. Next time you feel overwhelmed take a deep breathe and appreciate those little things, I promise you'll smile.

The one full of frustration...
Exams week and I have a semester to save, stress and tension, you can feel it in the air, tiredness starts striking in and all you want is a little sympathy, because after this you know, you'll have to start a new semester right away, you have to do the unimaginable, everyone's saying how easy it would be for them, but they never want to help you, again, you don't want critics, you want sympathy and silence so you can study.
You start feeling frustrated when everyone starts asking but you can't ask, when everyone starts criticizing the way you do things but they don't have any ideas to improve, you want to yell at everybody, you want to run out of the room, but surprise, you have 3 works and homework to end for tomorrow at 7 am, you see a light at the end but that's just your cellphone trying to wake you up from a wonderful dream, where you though you were done with all of this.
I know that feeling, we all know, but we also all forget that it exist and that others are going through that, we criticise. If you see someone going through that and you are not down to help, walk away, we don't need critics, we need coffee and a couple of hours to sleep, don't be that horrible human that only knows how to make others feel bad. let them keep studying, if they don't ask, shut your mouth.
I'm feeling quite overwhelmed after fighting with my father over this, breathe and focus in your work, at the end of the day, you are the only one understanding what you are going through and you are the only one getting the success.

Everyone wants to wake up feeling fresh and rested, we don't always wake up like that.
I started doing some things to improve the way my day goes, so here are some of theme:

• Keep in mind what you want to do: Plan your day ahead, be realistic and don't set the bar to a point where there's too much going on.
• Put your stuff together: Plan your outfit if you need to go out early, put your keys and bag in the same place, if you think that you wont have enough time in the morning, do it the night before.
• Set an alarm: A realistic one, don't leave 30 min to get ready, that's never going to happen.
• Playlists: Put your favourite music, that'll help you set the mood but it can also help to take time in consideration.
• Eat something: Not having breakfast can be the worst habit ever, if you don't eat, you wont have enough energy.
• Feel confident: If you feel great, everyone is going to notice it.
• Smile: Giving smiles is the best way to make someone else feel better.

Another week, another sunrise.

There's a saying in my country that says "No soy monedita de oro para caerle bien a todos" which is pretty much that not everyone will like you.
You are going to meet people and they may not like you, without even getting to know you and that's how life usually goes, but there are times where people just take it to a hole new level and start being rude with you or start making you feel bad about yourself.
I went through a period in my life where I used to listen to whatever everyone else had to say, I took those words and change myself. There was this one boy that told me I was fat and although I knew that I had gained a few pounds over the holiday, those words really affected me, I stopped eating and in a month I lost a serious amount of weight, but I also started doing things that weren't my thing, I got lost in words. One of my "friends" ask me about my change and I told him, he acted and told me he  was worried, but he never tried to help me, days later a girl started saying bad things about that and told everyone that I stopped eating, she was making fun of an actual problem and most importantly trying to hurt me, I'm still going out of that, but words of those people don't affect me any more.
What I'm trying to say is that, it doesn't matter how you look, where you come from or your personality, no one has the right to make fun or judge you, no one has the right to hurt you...
When you start getting hate from people, sometimes it affects you more than it should, not because you really think that of yourself but sometimes you are not as confident of what you have. If you let hate get to you, you are going to get hurt for people that need a proper life and things to worry about, if you want to change things, go for it, but do it because you want it, in a way that's not going to hurt you, not because someone is telling you how you need to look. You need to know that sometimes they are jealous or want some more attention.
Let the words slip and live your life your way.

Have you ever though how does it feels to be an left out? I changed some of my groups in school and being the new kid in the middle of the semester, I though I was going to be in that position, but I wasn't, If you re nice to people they are going to respond in good way.
Being the new one is never easy, being shy makes everything hard and also you'll be surprise for how many people are in the same position as you and also if you are feeling not as confident, remember that everyone can judge you but that doesn't mean that they are right, so don't let anybody get under your skin with out even getting to know you.
Being a new kid in 3 classes made me realised this, a smile opens doors, be nice to people and I promise that everything will go fine.

Nobody said that growing up was easy, in fact I think is where you get all you experiences and you start seeing things different, but it's also a time where you need to learn about your mistakes.
Going through your teens is like learning to drive, your first attempts are always bad but you start learning and stop making the same mistakes, some are going to be good at it and some are going to take a little bit more time to be better.
You might get trapped in bad friendships, bad habits or in a bubble, in my personal experience is better if you experiment and really give a chance to do things out of the box, living in a bubble isn't a way of living, if you don't do while you have chance, you'll never do it, we don't need to take things to an extreme level but we sure have the chance to do some crazy things.
In this subject is also really common to be influenced by other people or what they are doing, if you are going through that, think if you really want that or if you really want to live what other wants to live.
Growing up and finding yourself can be quite tricky, but it's something that everybody goes through in his own unique way, just don't let people or comments get to you.

I like being a lazy bee on Sundays, is the one time that I really have to relax, breathe and forget that there's a world outside, until I get hungry and I go out for food.
Usually I go out with my parents to a little cafe near my place, to have breakfast and talk, but sometimes I have something stocked in my head and that's what this is about, what's on my mind on a Sunday morning?
Last week I was talking with one of my high school friends and he told me about some mean comments and gossip that it used to be around me with out me noticing, and I started asking from some of them, I realized that for people I was not another one, I was someone that they may not hated but they didn't stand, to this day I don't know why that happened but it made me think about those years and how I got through them. This week is all about growing up and how I got here, being better (I think) and also how I pass that hate from people...
Have a great start of the week and never forget that the people that use their life to hate, waste a life in somebody else.

I think that over the last two months I been in a tight schedule where my ideas had to flow with that agenda and I started having problems writing, because although I was writing about subjects I was really interested in, I was following and agenda and not my heart, so that's when I stopped everything and I'm changing the "everyday a new blog"  to 5 blogs a week. I wont have a month of blogs planned but a week that I'll try to plan every Friday, only because I love having my stuff together. I hope you enjoy the changes.

It's not about being weak...
Everyone has been in that situation where you feel like a small person and you start feeling really vulnerable.
Sometimes we try to hide our feelings to try to "protect" us, well that doesn't really helps but hurts you more. Sometimes we tend to be to rough with ourselves, we try to be perfect and we hide our real selves from the world.
We hate to show that we're vulnerable, we don't like getting hurt, but sometimes we need that, we need to feel vulnerable and know ourselves, in order to be a better person, love us the way we are and accept that sometimes we are vulnerable. We need to open our hearts to get better. We need to show us vulnerable to know our strength.
So the next time you feel vulnerable remember is not a sing of weakness, is the door to knowledge about ourselves, and a way of accepting that nobody is perfect. Don't be to harsh with yourself.

Everyone always tells you to go out of your comfort zone or to think outside of the box, but we never (at least me) never really take that phrase to seriously and we keep doing our usual thing.
Have ever though about the benefits of pushing your limits? We never think of that, we never do it, we think is too dangerous, we are not used to say yes, we hide inside our little box and stay in our little world.
There are even times where we forget that there's a lot to see, that the world doesn't ends with us, we tend to think that we saw everything that we needed to see and it's not true but also puts you in a position where not only you stay where you are but you  stop growing as a person.
Sometimes we say no out of fear, pushing our limits every time is beneficial for you in more than one way, I know that sometimes it can be really hard to say yes but think it twice and really put your options right there, you get one life, you get some amazing chances, it's your choice to take them or not.
Take one step at the time, keep your goal in mind and never do anything that is going to put you in danger. When you start seeing that it's actually good for you, you be thankful that you did it.

Why am I single?
We live in a society where being single is not always acceptable, or at least in my family is not, but why?, cause they feel that you are going to feel lonely?. My parents have always told me that they are going to support my decisions as long as it's a healthy relationship.
If you don't want to rush into a relationship, don't do it, you can wait, the world can wait, don't let anybody else pressure you.
About a year ago I decided that being single was the best for me, for now, I have so much going on, I'll have so much more and I'm a true believer that in a relationship you are making a commitment and you both need to put your souls, hearts, time and everything that you can for the relationship to work. I can't do that right now, because of me, I made my decision and I'm sticking to that until I find the one that comes and changes that without me noticing and also being extremely supportive with me or until I get tired and start looking for him...
Love is not something that just happens, it'll be building up with actions and little details, a relationship based in material things is also not good,  everyone has a way doing stuff and it's fine but don't do anything just because everyone is pressuring you... Be sure of the things that you want to do and feel free to say no, sometimes is for the better.

Don't ever let someone take your life away from you, you are an independent human being, you need to live your life the way you want, unless you want everyone steeping in. You don't have to feel guilty about the things you want to do. Believe in your dreams and the things you want to do, you need to stay strong and just do it.
I wrote about it more in deep here.

Decisions, decisions, decisions...
There are times where you are just stocked and you go back and forward with your problem, I've been there and you are never going to solve the problem, not like that. If you made a decision but you keep going back and forward from there, maybe is the right decision, sometimes is hard for us to make up our minds, because it involves something we love or we want by our side, but if you don't do something, it'll eat you up.
The more time you take to really make your mind, the more it'll hurt in the future, there are times where we believe that if we don't say anything, everything is going to keep their track or stay the same, well it's not and maybe it's going to get worst. I'm not telling it wont hurt (depending on the situation) or that it wont be hard but if you start taking more time than you should, you'll start confusing yourself up and everything can end up really bad. Don't make the process longer.

Chill out!
This week for some reason I've been having a really hard time writing, it's like being sick has drained me and I just focus on school and even there I've been having a really hard time, or maybe is because I've been resting more than I should, but I had to to slow down for health reasons.
I also started French and it's weird getting there and not knowing anything but it's been really refreshing and a good change, I only hope that I don't fail the first exam.
After all, I feel pretty good with my life and how is it right now, I really needed to chill out after exams.
That was my week, I hope yours was as good or better.

We never get to meet completely a person...

Sometimes I like keeping thing to myself and sometimes that affects me more than it should. I decided to write about those random facts about me, that not all the people know.

February my love, you brought more than I expected...



Changes are good, sometimes we don't like to accept them, it's hard from time to time, but in more than one way, they are they to help us to be better, wiser or we just need to adjust to the situation.
Last week I started making some huge changes in my life and here. I changed from English to French (language wise), I changed the way I was organizing my life and the way I study, I changed coffee for tea, I changed chips for fruit, I didn't changed candy or chocolate, I can't do that. I'm still finding a way to relax and to feel more confident about myself.
I change the way the blog looks, I added my favourite stuff and links so you can check that, I'm adding some Midnight Talks, I'm talking a bit more personal with you,
I'm getting used to this changes, I like them, I like the way I can survive with them and enjoy them.

We made it through...
When I first started this blog I was feeling lonely and really bad about myself, and I know that's a common reason to start a blog, but that's the only way I know how to express my feelings, I've always been like that, I don't know how to tell people that I'm hurt for the things that they said, or how to tell them that someone broke my heart and I just want to cry. I tried to tell people how I was feeling but sometimes I can't or I just express half or less of my feelings. Sometimes they notice and I don't know how to express it until later or sometimes they never find out why I was crying.
I remember being in high school and having a diary, where I used to write about my first crush or my days. in fact I have more than 3 diaries hidden in my bedroom. I also remember having my first panic attack, running away from my friends, trying to get out of school and suddenly being in one of my friends arms, shaking, hearing him, worrying him. I made an excuse because I just wanted to leave, I didn't knew what was happening, I didn't wanted to talk to anybody so I started writing about that experience in my notebook.
I made it through 100 posts, at first I didn't knew what I wanted to write in here, I tried with so many things, and after reading those notes about my first panic attack, I decided, I want to help as many as I can sharing my experiences. That's how everything started to flow and although I'm still fighting, writing made me realise that sometimes is not that bad and I can work through those memories. I also want to write about my experiences and how I started to live my life the way I wanted.
And as Hannah Hart said "Be however you are 'cause you are never going to be somebody else"

We made it though January...

Another Sunday, another week...
This week I've been thinking of how ambitious I can be sometimes, I dream big and try to make it happen but sometimes all of that becomes too much, there are times where I forget that I have to keep my mind open and find a balance, I try to work in the balance thing all the time, but I always end up doing more than I should. I'm a true believer of dreams, although I hate being a day dreamer, I love dreaming, it doesn't always has to be with being successful, sometimes I'll have the weirdest dreams and then ideas will pop into my head. My point is that sometimes you need to be real about your dreams. Remember to always:

"Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground." - Theodore Roosevelt

It's not midnight, but I really can't sleep and I've been feeling terrible, apparently I haven't been eating that well, I have been missing hour of sleep and my body is starting to get angry at me. When the year started I was sure that this was going to be a though one and that I had huge plans but I never that I would end up suffering like this.
So here is an update, for the past 2 1/2 weeks I have been missing meals and hours of sleep and not on purpose, after having to deal with the whole back to school stress, I had to start dealing with work, some problems and I was with a super strong feeling that I was going to be able to accomplish that and more. Well I was wrong, I started feeling really tired all the time, my parents noticed that too, I had so much pressure on me, that I didn't noticed that I stopped doing simple stuff. My body was hating me, I had my breaking point last Wednesday when I wasn't able to stand up for too long and I had the worst headache, I stayed in bed and after that I was feeling pretty good, and I went back to the same stuff the next day, by Friday I was feeling terrible, I went to class and I had lunch with my parents. I went for a nap and when I woke up to go for dinner I was feeling super weak and my throat was sore. After that everything went down for me, I went to bed and slept like 4 hours, woke up and my throat was sore, it hurt really badly and I was feeling really crappy.
When my parents heard me they worried and took my to see my doctor, well I have a really bad throat infection, I'm feeling weak because my body is over-working, they are changing me to a healthier diet and I have to rest more.
And that's why I can't sleep, I feel bad because I was fine but I took more and I hurt my body really bad, my hole body hurts when I move. This is maybe the worst I have been in years, and I think I learned my lesson, I need to follow my advises and really take steps back, because life is going to be there and I need to be healthy to live it.